The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

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Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Monday, June 04, 2007

Life: Moving From One Disaster to the Next Until You Die

I was hoping to give you some juicy house posts, but I'm afraid you're going to have to listen to me bitch and moan a bit today. If that isn't on your agenda for the day, move on to something worthy of your time. Believe me, I understand.

Something Scarlet and I have been talking about is the "it's all the Devil Queen's fault" excuse. Basically, whenever something goes wrong, we (mostly me) have gotten into the habit of blaming the house. Usually, something goes wrong, we don't have the money or time to make things right, and it's the house's fault since we've spent all our money and time on it. And, to an extent, this is true. But, is it really the Queen's fault? Somewhere along the way, we instigated this whole stupid project. We're the one's who decided to spend our money on this, right? So, is it the house's fault or ours?

Anyhow, two of our three cars are dead. My wife borrowed her step-father's truck to go to work, and it died this morning. So, she's driving her grandfather's truck. Because of our transportation troubles, she's been missing meetings and interviews which is very bad if you're a reporter. Fortunately, her employer hasn't complained about it. Yet.

We still haven't heard from the bank or the appraiser so we haven't tied up all the loose ends on the house. God, I love fiscal limbo. Sweet.

We're going to have to buy a new used car this weekend, because we really need it. And, it sucks being thirty and having to borrow your parents and grandparents cars all the time. It makes you feel like your all of 16 again.

And, as it is, we may not be able to take the sailing lessons we've been looking forward to for months because we may not be able to physically get there and we need to go car shopping.

So, the real question is, if we can't blame the house for everything, does that mean we're incompetent, cursed, or both?

I'm going for both.

Being an adult sucks.

Oh, and did I mention that our mini-storage has given us until the end of the month to clean out our "storage room."? I say storage room in quotes because we're actually renting a small two bedroom house adjacent to the facility for our stuff. He offered it to us last year because he didn't have a renter and all the big units were full. Now, apparently he would like to rent it out again. He's offered us a large unit for our stuff, but if I'm going to have to move all that shit anyhow, I might as well ought to move it to the Devil Queen, throw it away, or give it to Goodwill.

Having been rushing against the bank deadline for so long, I'm really irritated to have yet another deadline to meet so soon. If we could have had to the end of July, it would have been much better for us.

And, I'm still waiting for something else to go wrong. It's like a scent on the wind, I can just tell that this storm hasn't passed yet.

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Blogger Gary said...

Welcome to the years of being "thirtysomething". You can relish in the reality of assuming responsibility for your actions. The first sign of "growing up" for many. Once you realize that YOU are responsible for all the things that happen to you in your life you start to get wise. Unfortunately you won't accept this new found realization until you are 40. When you hit 50 you might actually do something about it! About then you completely stop doing stupid things that might get you killed because the end is much closer than you want it to be.

12:51 PM  
Blogger Jocelyn said...

Yes, I know that feeling. I hope you get some of the flip side too, which is feeling gratified by the life you have chosen. Maybe it's all a big delusion, but I think it's good to feel that way.

wishing you well!

5:54 PM  
Blogger said...

This is why God invented Corona & Lime.

6:42 AM  
Blogger EGE said...

I think we should start a club called the "Don't Buy A House" club and only people who sometimes (okay, often) wish they'd never set eyes on their fixer-uppers are allowed to join. Everyone who's been living in bliss since closing day can go and start their own club, where no one will be allowed to drink or smoke or swear or lose their temper. Ever. They can call themselves the "Happy McLucky" club and on Halloween we'll go throw eggs at all their houses. Nyeah!

I'm with you, buddy. My car's broken too and so are about eighty-seven other things I won't be able to afford to fix until I get that book deal you keep talking about. I have an advantage in that at least my car still gets me places (although it keeps trying to kill me while it does so), but a disadvantage in that I'm nearly ten years older than you are, and so I really should have learned better by now...

3:09 PM  
Blogger John said...

Gary, I don't know what to say except that my wife and I got a good laugh out of your comment. Definately enhances the appeal of beer.

Jocelyn, thanks for the well wishes.

iloveupstate, absolutely! And then there is the allure of Guinness, wiskey, rum, and wine. Really though, why stop there?

ege, I elect you president. How much are the club dues?

2:12 PM  
Blogger EGE said...

A pound of flesh! Payable straight into your hated house. And what the hell, let's say blood counts as flesh just this one time...

1:43 PM  

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