The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

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Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Friday, May 23, 2008

The Dao of My Father-In-Law

My father-in-law is incredibly vulgar. I rather like this. He is never boring. And, while it would easy to mistake him for some semi-crazy hooligan, he does slip up and occasionally make surprisingly lucid, insightful comments. Scarlet and I have joked about collected his sundry sayings in to book.

For example, his assessment of the current economy:

"If I were selling fresh pussy for a dollar and I was a buyer, I still wouldn't be making any fucking money. I'm not selling shit, it's the worst it's ever been."

On persistence:

"If you throw enough shit at a wall, some of it will stick."

On bad luck:

"If it was raining pussy, a dick would hit me in the face."

On moving a house:

"You're fucking nuts. You could build a nice, new house for that much money. Are you crazy?"

See, words of wisdom.



Blogger Tarr said...

Yeah. I've had people tell me to "haul in a trailer" rather than build my little timber framed cabin.

Eff 'em.

It is a good thing that you are amused by your FIL. Hope your weekend is relaxing and fun.

4:56 PM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Ha! I have a father-in-law just like that! He's a riot to have around.

6:51 PM  
Blogger Sandy said...

Oh, John, I laughed SO hard at the things your FIL said. He sounds quite the character, and you are right -- he would never be boring!

I have heard the comment on persistence... I just can't remember where I've heard it!

4:17 PM  

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