The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

My Photo
Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Cult of the Devil Queen

I need a new job. I'd prefer one closer to home, the 2 1/2 hour commute is killing me. I think that it's time for me to implement Plan B.

Back in those halcyon college days, a couple friends and I decided we needed a Plan B if adult life didn't work out for us. We decided that our Plan B would be starting a religious cult. We agreed that our religion would have to absolve followers of sins, offer an apocalyptic ending for the world, paradise after death, and the usual fare without all the annoying thou-shall-nots (Like the prohibition of alcohol and bestiality; murder would still be bad of course).

Most importantly, we'd offer a refuge for the hopelessly insane and socially handicapped that drift on the outer margins of society. And, as long as we provided all the necessary answers for a meaningful existence, hopefully the faithful would tithe enough to the cult that we'd never have to work. This would leave us with enough time to: sleep-in, read, watch bad, late night television, play video games, and drink.

Would you believe people say I have cynical outlook on the world? Just let my sad example be a warning to all you mothers out there. When your sons reach that awkward age of about 14, don't let them spend hours locked in their bedroom alone reading Machiavelli. It could lead to blindness and a jaded, anti-social weltanschauung! Instead, give them porn.

While it's unfashionable to admit it, I must confess that I harbor a secret urge to spread the Devil Queen and her dominion over the whole earth. This is only fitting since I'm the cult's head-priest. The blog is only the first step in my insidious and far reaching conspiracy. The Freemasons don't have anything on my Dark Mistress and I.

For those of you who object to my unctuous, amoral ways but still want a way out, I would recommend that you do what my friend Daryl did, marry a Canadian. For those of you who were blessed to be born Canadian, this plan won't work for you. As a foreign national who has married a Canadian, you won't be able to legally work in Canada for several months (a year or more?) and your new spouse will have to agree to support you financially for two years even in the event of divorce.

So, at this very moment, my friend is forcibly unemployed, supported by his new wife, and spending his days sleeping-in, playing video games, reading, watching bad, late night television, and drinking. God bless Canada.

Every cult has its own regalia. As high-priest, I get to where the Horned Crown. Very awe inspiring, I know.


Blogger Gary said...

I figured that if I were to start a church, I would call it the "Christian Alliance for Salvation and Happiness". Just make your checks out to CASH please....

9:40 AM  
Anonymous Patrick said...

If the "Devil Queen" becomes a "church," doesn't that mean that all improvements now become "tax-deductible?" I think the govmnt is going to owe you a BIG refund this year....


12:31 PM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 09.26
longchamp handbags, michael kors outlet store, burberry outlet online, kate spade outlet online, jordan shoes, louis vuitton outlet online, ugg australia, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet online, nike outlet, polo ralph lauren, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton, ugg boots clearance, louis vuitton outlet, prada outlet, michael kors outlet online sale, louis vuitton handbags, christian louboutin outlet, nike air max, oakley sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet, ray ban sunglasses, ray ban outlet, ugg outlet, cheap oakley sunglasses, red bottom shoes, cheap oakley sunglasses, prada handbags, replica watches, christian louboutin shoes, tory burch outlet online, tiffany and co, chanel handbags, longchamp outlet, louis vuitton outlet, replica watches, christian louboutin, oakley vault, michael kors handbags, gucci handbags, nike air max, nike free, cheap ugg boots outlet, tiffany jewelry, cheap ugg boots

11:43 PM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

nike air max, nike air force, abercrombie and fitch, burberry pas cher, michael kors canada, mulberry uk, new balance pas cher, nike roshe, scarpe hogan, converse pas cher, coach outlet, nike roshe run, north face, air max, hermes pas cher, louboutin, hollister, oakley pas cher, ray ban uk, ralph lauren pas cher, true religion outlet, michael kors, true religion, sac vanessa bruno, ralph lauren uk, ray ban pas cher, coach purses, longchamp pas cher, guess pas cher, vans pas cher, kate spade outlet, nike blazer pas cher, air jordan, hollister uk, lacoste pas cher, nike air max, lululemon outlet online, nike free, tn pas cher, air max pas cher, coach outlet store online, michael kors outlet online, north face pas cher, true religion jeans, true religion outlet, timberland pas cher, coach outlet, longchamp, nike free pas cher, michael kors uk

11:45 PM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

vans outlet, ray ban, soccer jerseys, hollister clothing store, north face jackets, wedding dresses, north face jackets, mont blanc pens, mac cosmetics, soccer shoes, lululemon outlet, nike air max, nfl jerseys, abercrombie and fitch, converse, jimmy choo shoes, birkin bag, vans, abercrombie, ralph lauren, nike trainers, hollister, bottega veneta, iphone case, p90x workout, giuseppe zanotti, oakley, louboutin, instyler ionic styler, babyliss, asics shoes, longchamp, herve leger, air max, gucci, ferragamo shoes, ghd, insanity workout, celine handbags, valentino shoes, nike roshe, nike air huarache, reebok shoes, new balance outlet, mcm handbags, baseball bats, timberland boots, beats headphones, chi flat iron, converse shoes, burberry outlet online, michael kors outlet online

11:47 PM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

sac louis vuitton, louis vuitton, moncler outlet, moncler, pandora charms, swarovski jewelry, coach outlet, supra shoes, sac lancel, moncler, moncler outlet, moncler, canada goose, michael kors handbags, wedding dress, canada goose, thomas sabo uk, canada goose, uggs canada, moncler, ugg, moncler, ugg boots, swarovski uk, pandora jewelry, montre femme, juicy couture, canada goose outlet, canada goose outlet, louis vuitton pas cher, canada goose, louis vuitton canada, barbour, michael kors outlet online, louis vuitton uk, canada goose outlet, barbour jackets, pandora jewelry, ugg, michael kors outlet, juicy couture outlet, marc jacobs handbags, toms outlet, canada goose pas cher, links of london uk, pandora uk, replica watches, hollister canada, moncler, karen millen, doke gabbana outlet, ugg soldes
ninest123 09.26

11:48 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Free Web Site Counter
Website Counter