Russian Roulette

Since we didn’t have enough going on already (like the final project for my web design class I haven’t started), my wife and I decided to up the ante. We’re playing Russian Roulette this weekend, and, to make it more interesting, we’re using a double-barrel shot gun. How do you like those odds?

Before April became the month of unpleasant and unexpected events, we’d considered having a pre-house warming party at the Devil Queen. You know, something to celebrate the running water we don’t have yet. As of Monday this week we’d nearly decided to cancel the whole things since we were hopelessly behind. My wife, our resident pessimist, wasn’t convinced that anyone would come anyhow. Then, people started asking about it and telling us that they were planning to come.

So, we did what any reasonable people would do. We told them to come on down, the party was on.

We’re planning on spending tonight and all of Saturday plumbing. I might be reading too much into our situation, but I think the Fates are with us. Last night Kenny came by for his pay check and we talked about the Queen. Fortunately for us, Kenny has a very diverse background in construction. He has several years of experience in both HVAC and residential wiring. And, it just so happens that he is planning to run the wiring out to our septic pump (another story in itself, more later) today. He is also going to reinstall the six cutoff valves for the bathroom sinks (he had to pull them off to do a good job with the wainscoting).

This means all we need to do is install a toilet in the master bathroom (my wife bought it Wednesday), install all the clawfoot tub hardware, and connect the main water line to the house. Then if we’re lucky, the Queen won’t flood too badly. God help us, I know this is going to be a disaster. But, we might as well get it over with. And, if it is a total fiasco, at least beer will already be on hand.

On the other hand, if we pull this off, we’ll have nearly Frankensteined the Devil Queen. If the plumbing works, all she’ll need is that final jolt of electrification and she’ll be ALIVE! To think, I may yet live long enough to see the old whore raised from the dead.