The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

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Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Friday, April 28, 2006

Russian Roulette

Since we didn’t have enough going on already (like the final project for my web design class I haven’t started), my wife and I decided to up the ante. We’re playing Russian Roulette this weekend, and, to make it more interesting, we’re using a double-barrel shot gun. How do you like those odds?

Before April became the month of unpleasant and unexpected events, we’d considered having a pre-house warming party at the Devil Queen. You know, something to celebrate the running water we don’t have yet. As of Monday this week we’d nearly decided to cancel the whole things since we were hopelessly behind. My wife, our resident pessimist, wasn’t convinced that anyone would come anyhow. Then, people started asking about it and telling us that they were planning to come.

So, we did what any reasonable people would do. We told them to come on down, the party was on.

We’re planning on spending tonight and all of Saturday plumbing. I might be reading too much into our situation, but I think the Fates are with us. Last night Kenny came by for his pay check and we talked about the Queen. Fortunately for us, Kenny has a very diverse background in construction. He has several years of experience in both HVAC and residential wiring. And, it just so happens that he is planning to run the wiring out to our septic pump (another story in itself, more later) today. He is also going to reinstall the six cutoff valves for the bathroom sinks (he had to pull them off to do a good job with the wainscoting).

This means all we need to do is install a toilet in the master bathroom (my wife bought it Wednesday), install all the clawfoot tub hardware, and connect the main water line to the house. Then if we’re lucky, the Queen won’t flood too badly. God help us, I know this is going to be a disaster. But, we might as well get it over with. And, if it is a total fiasco, at least beer will already be on hand.

On the other hand, if we pull this off, we’ll have nearly Frankensteined the Devil Queen. If the plumbing works, all she’ll need is that final jolt of electrification and she’ll be ALIVE! To think, I may yet live long enough to see the old whore raised from the dead.

8 Comments:

Blogger jm@houseinprogress said...

Oh man! I wish I were there to raise a glass with ya! To the Queen!

7:32 PM  
Blogger Archimedes24 said...

I'm with JM...in my experience, there isn't much BEER can't fix.

In the immortal words of Homer, "Beer...is there anything it CAN'T DO?!?"

Have fun you crazy kids!

8:44 PM  
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