The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

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Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

The Floater

We inadvertently invented the perfect mouse trap over the weekend. Step one, install new toilet. Step two, leave lid up. Step three, wait.

Kenny brought this little gem to my attention. Kenny had gone to the master bath to get some toilet paper to blow his nose, and saw this. Kenny is a bit skittish and the little bastard staring up at him scared him half to death. Hearing Kenny tell the story on himself is particularly amusing (I wish I had an audio recorder for it).

We’d known that we had a mouse for a while. Hot dog buns were violated. Toilet paper, paper towels, and scraps of insulation were gnawed to pieces and dragged off. Small poop pellets littered dark corners. Somehow the little fellow managed to avoid the king snake that took up residence under the hot tub. His downfall was he got lazy. Instead of venturing out of the Devil Queen to drink out of a puddle or the creek, he just had to drink out of the brand new toilet.

The photo is probably a bit over the top, but the longer this project has dragged on, the more I feel compelled to document, record, and photograph everything. And, I do mean everything. If weren’t so busy working on the Devil Queen, my job, moving, etc, I’d have already slipped into an obsessive compulsive disorder and psychosis. Maybe I already have?

Ever the optimist, I find great comfort in the fact that I have successfully resisted the urge to examine the seemingly random paint spatters on my work boots as the subconscious expression of my id in relation to the abstract expressionist paintings of Jackson Pollock. Once I completely slide into art-fag, pseudo-intellectual musings, all hope will be lost. Till then, I’ll continue to enjoy the great view the outer edge of lucid mental functioning affords.


Anonymous Patrick said...

Dude, you need to check your diet...I know things are bad right now, but you don't need resort to that just yet...:-0


10:33 AM  
Blogger Bonk at Home said...

So what's the big deal? It's just a moth.

Anyways, this reminds me of this one time there was this chipmunk running around the house, and we couldn't find it for days, and... well you get the idea.

12:04 PM  
Blogger Lenise said...

=-[ I used to have pet mice. They are really cute, but I can understand not wanting one on the loose inside your house. Still, =-[

12:23 PM  
Blogger HomeImprovementNinja said...

I heard that they can into the toilet from the sewer line. Especially in places like the basement where the toilet isn't used ofter. Glad that the little bugger is dead. I'm hearing mouse noises lately. I wish I had a cat right now.

12:34 PM  
Anonymous Jane said...

Ha! You will be thankful you documented and took pictures of everything. It is what I call my external memory. It is amazing how much you forget over time.

4:08 PM  
Anonymous brenda said...

Yeah, we had one of these at my uncle's country place. In gratitude for your admission that you found it compelling, I will confess that I enjoyed watching "ours" circle the drain...

12:43 PM  

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