Operation Trebuchet
I feel that I am left with no other choice but to build a trebuchet. Since Monty Python launched that first fateful cow, the launching of unorthodox objects from medieval siege weapons has become a time-honored way to make a memorable statement. The 1990’s TV show Northern Exposure featured one of the most notable examples of this fine tradition: launching a casket & corpse into an Alaska lake at a funeral. Now, I too aspire to become part of this illustrious group. My kitchen sink simply must go.
Despite a spirited effort on our part, the kitchen refuses to be finished. Late Saturday we subdued the kitchen floor with the last of four coats of polyurethane. Scary, black cracks to the Underworld between the floor boards and the base of the wall behind the stove and dishwasher were filled with spray foam insulation. The marble countertop and grout were sealed. The cabinets were cleaned and a light was installed under the kitchen sink. The kitchen sink, however, refused to be mastered. Two trips to town for parts and after two hours of armed struggle our conquering efforts were rebuffed. We retreated to bed in shameful, teeth-gnashing defeat.
The kitchen sink we now have was salvage from somewhere or other several years ago. I can’t remember where exactly, a house in Russellville I think. It’s huge, cast iron, and made in the early 1970’s. I’d show you a picture of the evil hussy, but I was too pissed off to think about pictures last night. The sink is in good shape minus some scratches and wear. Aside from a good washing, the only thing the sink really needs is to be re-plumbed. In order to do this, we have to remove the two old, corroded drain traps and install new ones. Everything else should be fairly straight forward, a sure sign of trouble.
The sink has two sides (one small for rinsing, the other large for general use). The small basin surrendered its drain trap without too much effort. The other trap was obstinately immobile. Our curses, pleas, bloody knuckles, tears, and bruises were futile. It was adamantly unmoved. Maybe it was the suffering induced delirium, but, I think we may have agreed to get a new kitchen sink before we tumbled into bed around midnight.
Refreshed after five hours of sleep and half a pot of coffee I’m thinking about giving the sink one last chance to repent. Jack is coming over to help me move the stove and refrigerator tonight. Maybe while he’s there he might help me beat the everlasting shit out of that drain trap. If it refuses to see reason, it’ll have a one way ticket to the Big Ol’ Dumpster in the Sky.
Despite a spirited effort on our part, the kitchen refuses to be finished. Late Saturday we subdued the kitchen floor with the last of four coats of polyurethane. Scary, black cracks to the Underworld between the floor boards and the base of the wall behind the stove and dishwasher were filled with spray foam insulation. The marble countertop and grout were sealed. The cabinets were cleaned and a light was installed under the kitchen sink. The kitchen sink, however, refused to be mastered. Two trips to town for parts and after two hours of armed struggle our conquering efforts were rebuffed. We retreated to bed in shameful, teeth-gnashing defeat.
The kitchen sink we now have was salvage from somewhere or other several years ago. I can’t remember where exactly, a house in Russellville I think. It’s huge, cast iron, and made in the early 1970’s. I’d show you a picture of the evil hussy, but I was too pissed off to think about pictures last night. The sink is in good shape minus some scratches and wear. Aside from a good washing, the only thing the sink really needs is to be re-plumbed. In order to do this, we have to remove the two old, corroded drain traps and install new ones. Everything else should be fairly straight forward, a sure sign of trouble.
The sink has two sides (one small for rinsing, the other large for general use). The small basin surrendered its drain trap without too much effort. The other trap was obstinately immobile. Our curses, pleas, bloody knuckles, tears, and bruises were futile. It was adamantly unmoved. Maybe it was the suffering induced delirium, but, I think we may have agreed to get a new kitchen sink before we tumbled into bed around midnight.
Refreshed after five hours of sleep and half a pot of coffee I’m thinking about giving the sink one last chance to repent. Jack is coming over to help me move the stove and refrigerator tonight. Maybe while he’s there he might help me beat the everlasting shit out of that drain trap. If it refuses to see reason, it’ll have a one way ticket to the Big Ol’ Dumpster in the Sky.
posted by John | 4:56 PM
6 Comments:
Don't be shy about mangling that trap to get it out. If it's loose but stuck you can cut through the lip of the trap on the basin side using tin shears in several places and pry the thing in on itself. I'm guessing it's one of those cheap stamped stainless steel units. If it is cast brass this may not be possible. If the nut underneath is too tight to budge, you might be able to break it into pieces with a hammer and chisel. These are usually made of soft diecast pot metal. Good luck!
Get out your reciprocating saw. I have learned from experience that you need to bring out the big guns to show that plumbing that are not one to be fcuked with!
I have a co-worker who built a trebuchet. It was a school project for his teenage daughter. the whole class made them and launched bags of flour in the school parking lot. Have fun!
WD-40 and the biggest wrench you can find.
If you do launch your sink, please don't point it in the direction of my house:)
Thanks for all the tips. Tried the WD-40 but it didn't work. My father-in-law and I worked it over & we finally got it loose. If that didn't work, the saw was definately next.
Northern Exposure also launched a piano, once, with the trebuchet. It was a yearly event in the community, if I recall correctly.
The piano launch was done as a kind of performance art.
-- Janine
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