The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

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Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Have We Ruined Homeownership For You?

First, I’m sorry for the dearth of posts regarding actual progress on the Devil Queen. There has been some made (painting the bathrooms), but there isn’t much to look at yet. Our Zombie Black-Ops is moving along slowly. That should be no surprise, what are zombies if not slow? However, once their mission has been accomplished and all danger has passed, you’ll get some pictures.

Ms. Scarlet and I were talking about our Halloween party last night, and she said, “It’s too bad none of the housebloggers live closer, you could invite them.”

“That would be pretty cool. I know one lives in Little Rock and there are two more in Fayetteville I think.”

[For any of you housebloggers interested, you are invited to experience the evil of the Devil Queen first hand.]

“What happened to that guy living in Australia,” Scarlet asked.

“They moved back to the US. I think they moved to Detroit.”

“I always liked his comments, they made me laugh,” Scarlet said. “I think we actually scared him away from home ownership. I feel kind of bad about that.”

“He hasn’t posted in a while. They just bought a house, but I don’t think it needs too much work. You know, stuff like paint. It’s definitely not an old fixer upper.”

“Do you think we’ve scare off anyone else?”

“I don’t know,” I said “We should ask.”

So, in an effort to satisfy our curiosity, here is our poll (a tip of the hat to Greg at The Petch House for introducing me to Pollhost).

Has reading The Devil Queen deterred you from buying an old home?
Yes. This blog gives me nightmares.
Yes. You have shattered all of my illusions about home ownership. If I live anywhere, it will be in a cave.
Yes. I will rent for the rest of my life.
Yes, I will never buy an old house. A new house? Maybe.
Neutral. I have a mind of my own, you can't influence me.
No. You give me hope. There is no way my house could ever be as bad a yours.
No. I'm into S&M and you make me want it even more.
No. I'm deranged. It sounds like fun to me.
Free polls from


Anonymous Annie said...

You need to add a category for:
Oops, i already bought my old house, but after reading your blog i realize just how bad it can be and after reading Greg's realize i will never have the time or patience to do it that well and so now am looking to flip it. Paint over wall paper here i come! Or something along those lines. ;)

11:36 AM  
Blogger John said...


Damn. That is an excellent point! I wish I would have thought of that. I'd add that to the poll, but, once you've created one, that is pretty much it.

I'd encourage anyone who is in the same boat as Annie to leave a comment and I'll figure that into the "offical" score.

12:05 PM  
Anonymous Travis said...

Not only am I deranged enough to be moving on to my second fixer-upper (much larger and older than the first), but you have actually encouraged me to start a house blog! I thoroughly enjoy reading your adventures and love to know someone else is in the same/similar boat as I.


1:22 PM  
Blogger Kristin said...

It goes without saying - I picked "deranged."

Also, I didn't realize you guys were having a Halloween party, too! I just posted abuot ours on our blog. Now I'm going to hunt down more details on yours.

2:31 PM  
Anonymous Brenda from Flatbush said...

I would have suggested yet another poll response choice: "We've already bought our ghastly old house, but your blog makes us feel better because at least we didn't cut ours in half and move it."
Wish I could come to the party--I will send cyberbrownies and a case of cyberBrooklyn Lager in our stead!

7:50 PM  
Blogger Allison said...

I'm a combination of Annie and Brenda: "We already bought our old house, but after reading this blog have given up all delusions of milk painted carpentry, staining trim, or anything that involves major demolition"

12:45 PM  
Blogger Allison said...

One more thing - if you have a Christmas party, when I'm in AR, we just might show up!

12:46 PM  
Blogger John said...

Thanks for all the comments. I wish I had fine tuned my questions a little better before posting the poll. Next time I think I'll ask for some suggestions first.


Bless you. I think you may be one of the only people that has been positively influenced by us.


You are a lady after my own heart. I'll post a few more details for you regardin our Halloween.


Thanks for the refreshments; they were excellent.


If you're down in Arkansas for Christmas, you'll definately have to look us up. I don't know if we're having a party; that is still a little bit beyond our planning horizon. In any case, you have an open invitation whether there is a party or not.

6:15 AM  

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