The Woods Are Alive With the Sound of Gunfire…
… because we only live in the nicest places. Fall is here and everyone with high power rifle is blazing away in their backyard to prepare for beer deer camp. I can’t help but wonder if I need to buy my family hunter-orange vests and flak jackets.
In three or four weeks, our bulldozer guru will be out to level out the three random mounds of excavated dirt pilled up in the yard; they look like burial mounds for the midget kings of old, overgrown with lush forests of ragweed and poison ivy. Maybe we should have him build an earth berm around the Queen instead of leveling it? You know, our very own personal Maginot Line to stop stray 30.06 rounds.
On the other hand, that approach didn’t really work for the French. Learning a lesson from history, maybe we just need to park a tank in the front yard; that ought to make a statement (besides “Crazy, psychotic people live here”).
In three or four weeks, our bulldozer guru will be out to level out the three random mounds of excavated dirt pilled up in the yard; they look like burial mounds for the midget kings of old, overgrown with lush forests of ragweed and poison ivy. Maybe we should have him build an earth berm around the Queen instead of leveling it? You know, our very own personal Maginot Line to stop stray 30.06 rounds.
On the other hand, that approach didn’t really work for the French. Learning a lesson from history, maybe we just need to park a tank in the front yard; that ought to make a statement (besides “Crazy, psychotic people live here”).
posted by John | 7:29 PM
5 Comments:
How about a moat?
At the retired soldiers home in DC (for elderly veterens who can't afford nursing home), there's a huge tank on the lawn. It was pointed out at the street, but peopel complained that they had to stare down the barrel of a cannon while commuting to work. So, they moved it, so the tank appears to be attacking the soldier's home itself. I can't imaging that's good for the veterens with PTSD...
You know, your entry makes me think I need a little more excitement in my life;-)
Allison,
I like moats, but they have two strikes against them: 1)they don't stop bullets, 2)cottonmouths like standing water.
Tony,
The "Deer Hunting" excuse gets lots of play here too. I don't know if they still do this, but when my wife was in school, deer hunting was an excused absence.
Maryam,
Funny, living in Morocco sounds a lot more exciting than a bevy of deer hunters. They are pretty common here, more of a seasonal annoyance than anything remarkable.
Maybe it is just a matter of perspective?
Testing...
Test confirmed.
The deer hunting excuse is great. When I was in Halifax the only heating in the house was an old (1930S?)cast iron oil stove. One very cold Fall it conked out, and the only guy old enough to know how to repair it was off hunting. Two weeks with no warm water or heat - lovely.
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