The Fear
The last couple of days I've had this little bit of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas playing on repeat in my head.
"'I hate to say this,' said my attorney as we sat down at the Merry-Go-Round Bar on the second balcony, 'but this place is getting to me. I think I'm getting the Fear.'"
Yes, the Fear. Now I know what he means.
It really hit a crescendo this morning in the shower. No particular reason, I guess it was just time. Nothing like a jolt of panic before heading into the office, something to keep you sharp and twitchy before that first pot of coffee.
The problem is that despite my best efforts to synchronize the universe with my goals and needs, people keeping demonstrating a disturbing disregard for what I wan them to do. Some have even had the audacity to state that I am not the center of three-dimensional reality as we know it, which is rude to say the least. I've tried to be nice about it (not really), but that whole story of the God of Wrath and the Flood has been rather resonant with me. Consider yourself warned.
So, what's wadded up my delicate, little crack? Well, a these time honored holidays have been a little inconvenient (are chocolate extruding rodents that miraculous?), but scheduling a wedding three weeks before our bank (yet another nasty hot-bed of dissension) deadline? Intolerable and unforgivable! So, of course we're going to Oklahoma for the weekend.
Really, it (hopefully) won't be so bad. I don't think anyone in attendance will be out on parole, so that will be nice. But, I can still feel it coming, the giant crunch at the end of star's life. The time when its energy is nearly spent and it collapses in on its core and then explodes. Who knows what will emerge fiery hot and rough hewed from the wreckage?
In any case, I have a feeling that I will be burning through the last of my vacation time at work before the end is reached. Until I drive a couple projects down to the ground and cut their throat like a sacrificial bull, I'm not going feel good about things. I need some closure.
In the meantime, I toil. Here is my most recent work.
Tonight I have to stop to buy more white paint so I can finish these bloody ceilings. I'm praying that two coats are all they'll need.
"'I hate to say this,' said my attorney as we sat down at the Merry-Go-Round Bar on the second balcony, 'but this place is getting to me. I think I'm getting the Fear.'"
Yes, the Fear. Now I know what he means.
It really hit a crescendo this morning in the shower. No particular reason, I guess it was just time. Nothing like a jolt of panic before heading into the office, something to keep you sharp and twitchy before that first pot of coffee.
The problem is that despite my best efforts to synchronize the universe with my goals and needs, people keeping demonstrating a disturbing disregard for what I wan them to do. Some have even had the audacity to state that I am not the center of three-dimensional reality as we know it, which is rude to say the least. I've tried to be nice about it (not really), but that whole story of the God of Wrath and the Flood has been rather resonant with me. Consider yourself warned.
So, what's wadded up my delicate, little crack? Well, a these time honored holidays have been a little inconvenient (are chocolate extruding rodents that miraculous?), but scheduling a wedding three weeks before our bank (yet another nasty hot-bed of dissension) deadline? Intolerable and unforgivable! So, of course we're going to Oklahoma for the weekend.
Really, it (hopefully) won't be so bad. I don't think anyone in attendance will be out on parole, so that will be nice. But, I can still feel it coming, the giant crunch at the end of star's life. The time when its energy is nearly spent and it collapses in on its core and then explodes. Who knows what will emerge fiery hot and rough hewed from the wreckage?
In any case, I have a feeling that I will be burning through the last of my vacation time at work before the end is reached. Until I drive a couple projects down to the ground and cut their throat like a sacrificial bull, I'm not going feel good about things. I need some closure.
In the meantime, I toil. Here is my most recent work.
Tonight I have to stop to buy more white paint so I can finish these bloody ceilings. I'm praying that two coats are all they'll need.
posted by John | 5:48 AM
2 Comments:
This may seem like a silly question, but do you have to go to the wedding? Impending doom might pre-empt partaking in the fun of a wedding. Or not?
Technically, I could probably get out of it, but since I wouldn't have anyone to watch Giddy, I probably wouldn't get too much done if I stayed home with him. Figure I might as well make a family outing out of it, and work like the devil Sunday.
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