Categorically Unfit For Human Society, Reason 332

Here is a little secret for you. My neurosis, paranoia, and general misanthropy are pretty well known at this point, but I have a nagging, secret fear. I don’t know why it has been on my mind so much recently. Maybe it was everyone wanting to sell me life insurance when we refinanced the house and bought a new car?

Lately, I’m worried if I meet an untimely end in the near future that my soul will be trapped in the Devil Queen. Forever. Putting your blood, sweat, and tears into a house renovation is one thing, but wandering its halls until Doomsday is way too much. So, if I fall and snap my stupid head off, stop the clocks, cover the mirrors, and throw all the windows open. If that doesn’t work (believe me, you’ll know), do it like the Navaho and tear some holes in the walls and abandon the house. And, if that doesn’t do it, burn it down. Really. This house has been hell enough already.