The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

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Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Pet My Monkey

Here is the Home Improvement Monkey silkscreen t-shirt design, 1.0. It still needs some work, but I think I ought to be ready to take orders by next week. Now, here is a question for you all: does the design need text (example: Home Improvement Monkey, etc) or should I go with the graphic only? Or, both? Any input is appreciated. Thanks.

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Blogger Gary said...

I think you would make more money if the shirt said "Spank your monkey!"

or "Don't give monkies power tools"

It's your shirt, have fun with it!

6:16 PM  
Blogger Jayne said...

Okay, understand that I've been working in the heat a lot today, but I have several thoughts here: When I first saw this I immediately thought of Warren Criswell's winged hyena in that YouTube video of his. Then I thought of the creepy monkeys in Oz and now I'm singing, "Or-ee-os, Yoo-Hoo." I like it better without text, personally. But either way, I must have one.

9:58 PM  
Blogger Pandora said...

How about put the image on the back of the T-shirt and say "Get this Home Improvement Monkey off my Back!" or something like that :-) Hey, I love your blog! It is hilarious and I could relate to so much of it. I'm fixing up a 1915 cottage in California - ah the agony and the ecstasy of it all!

7:25 AM  
Anonymous aaron said...

I like the picture. The message is clear without text. Looks very cool. Unless you add him nailing a hand...just kidding

9:23 AM  
Blogger 2ndaryHighway said...

I love this.

Not sure if it needs the text or not, so really no help, but wanted to say I look forward to getting one either way.

2:56 PM  
Blogger Sandy said...

What about "Are you going to help or not?" I also like the shirt just the way it is. Aren't we all a bunch of help?! LOL

6:09 PM  
Blogger Jocelyn said...

I like it with no text myself. Count me in!

6:19 PM  
Blogger Amalie said...

I, too, will have to have one. And Adam here suggests, "Renovate, my pretties!"

7:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's great without text. Or you could say, "Watch out, or a house will fall on YOUR head!"

4:57 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

I like it without text :-)

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Without text please. It's very interesting to make it mysterious as to why this (flying) monkey is wielding a power tool.

Monkey with wings, meet jigsaw. Jigsaw meet flying monkey.

9:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some ideas:

"A thousand monkeys with a thousand power tools given an infinite amount of time could not have built my house worse"

(Although we love the Devil Queen. But even so, it's funny, and it might sell more Tshirt. Also -)

Q: You see a flying monkey with power tool. Do you

a) call him a flying cheese eating surrender monkey?

b) call him "my pretty"?

c) get him to do your roof.

Reverse of Tshirt says 'I chose option C.'

OR, there's also

Touch My Monkey

My Monkey's Nail Gun Wants To Say Hello To You

and for the atheists who aren't living in the deep south..

"How do you think they nailed Jesus up, anyway?"


-- Janine

10:49 AM  
Blogger John said...

Wow. Who knew there was such love for flying monkeys?!

Thank you for all the suggestions and comments!

I think I'll start taking orders later today or tomorrow. There will be a post on that soon.

Jayne, I had to go back to find the hyena. Pretty wild. It probably comes as no surprise that I got a kick out of it. Thanks for sending me that way.

And Pandora, glad you enjoy the blog, definately no shortage of agony here.


11:03 AM  

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