The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

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Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Nothing Says Home Sweet Home Like . . .

Nothing says "Home Sweet Home," like your Entergy Arkansas Nuclear One Emergency Manual.
The only perk to moving the Devil Queen 16 miles out of Russellville is that we're outside of emergency zones above.  Zone J is closest to us.  According to the instructions, we should proceed to Morrilton incase of an accident.  That would put us about 30 miles directly down wind from the reactor.  Does anyone besides me remember Chernobyl?  Do you think huddling 30 miles down wind was really all that safe?

Scarlet use to work with a girl who was a military brat with her family in Germany during Chernobyl.  She said they were ordered to stay indoors for weeks because of the radioactive fallout.  And they were hundreds of miles away from Chernobyl.  And, she still developed thyroid cancer when she was in her early 20's.  

My favorite line in this manual is, "radiation is naturally occurring . . . "  They omit the fact that it is naturally occurring in small amounts unless you live in a uranium mine.  I'd say that there is a pretty big difference between naturally occurring background radiation and nuclear reactor undergoing an emergency "situation."

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7 Comments:

Blogger Jayne said...

My favorite part--at least the part I can see in the photo--is the headline containing the words RECEPTION CENTER, as if Aunt Bee's gonna be waiting there with sweet tea and cookies for y'all.

9:21 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

I live about 6 miles from a nuclear power plant. The one advantage that I have discovered to this is that when there is a regional power outage (ice storm, hurricane etc. - I live in North Carolina so yes, it is possible to have both an ice storm and a hurricane in the same year) we are prioritized for power restoration. Has something to do with the power to the emergency notification sirens. The preschool that my kids attend is in the same emergency zone and they have to keep pudding with iodine in it in the fridge. If there was some sort of problem the kids would eat the pudding and the iodine is supposed to offer their thyroid protection from the radiation. Seems to me like there would be much bigger issues to worry about...

10:37 AM  
Blogger holly said...

I found your blog your blog a couple of months ago and read through almost the whole thing. Your writing is hilarious. My husband and I are suckers for the old, character homes and are currently in the process of bidding for an 1890s Queen Anne home in Wisconsin - you would think that your blog had taught me something, right? It did, this one is completely redone - we just need to move in (and then of course deal with the head aches that old houses bring). :)
So glad to see that you are back to writing - your sarcasm and wit have brought my husband and I many laughs. Good luck to you!

7:34 AM  
Blogger John said...

Jayne, I too doubt Aunt Bee is going to waiting for you. I suspect that they're going to round up everyone and wait to see if the radiation gets them or not. If it does, you certainly don't want them mingling with the general public and scaring the hell out of them and spreading panic.

Leslie,
I don't know what is more disturbing: the fact that their is iodine laced pudding in your schools or the fact that there isn't in ours to the best of my knowledge. I agree if they ever need to use that, that there is definately a bigger problem.

Holly,
Thank you very much! I'm glad that our cautionary tale has help some out. Good luck to you with the house and many thanks!

11:28 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Yeah, it sounds like you guys should have some of those iodine pills in your medicine chest.

Even if it only protects your thyroid, it's one thing you can do.

5:49 PM  
Blogger River Watson said...

Ich liebe deine Deutsch! Bitte, spricht mehr auf Deutsch! Es macht deine Blog sehr interessant!

11:45 AM  
Blogger John said...

Guten Tag! Danke sehr.

8:27 AM  

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