The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

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Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Parenting Advice

I thought I'd offer you all a little piece of parenting advice since there have been a lot of little ones brought into the world by housebloggers lately. I guess this proves that we're willing to do nearly anything to get out of working on our homes all the time; "Honey, you want to fool around or mud drywall?" Or, working on our houses leads to borderline alcoholism, which leads to fooling around. In either case, it's the house's fault as far as I'm concerned.

If you beloved child comes to you in around 18-20 years and says, "Mom/Dad, I found this great old historic house and they only want $1.00 for it. We might have to move it a little, but I really want to do this," shoot them.

Start with a small caliber (.22) and aim for the extremities. If they are skittish by nature, a near miss might be enough to persuade them to find something better to do with their time. If they persist, you might have to work your way up to something bigger or hollow-point. I know this sounds harsh and they might be upset at first, but they'll thank you later. Believe me. Really, I know.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Michael said...

Tough-love is always the hardest. I would personally ask to see the house, burn it down in front of them, and then give them a dollar...

10:21 AM  
Blogger Poppy said...

John...I've been reading your blog for about a year now. I don't know that I've ever posted but I've really enjoyed reading about the ups and downs you've had with the Devil Queen. I've especially enjoyed a lot of the "private/family stuff" you've shared.I laughed so hard at your story about your mother in law and the cats I think it was that I nearly peed my pants. Ahem...enough about that.

Anyway, today I'm posting to just leave you a hug. I sense you really need one.

{{{{John}}}}

Hang in there~

1:51 PM  
Blogger Sherry said...

I bought a small victorian built in 1900 this past summer. My dad spent three months trying to convince me to buy land and build new. I couldn't be swayed I wanted an old house to fix up. I love my house don't get me wrong but by the time I'm done fixing up this small house I could be living in a mansion with all the money I've spent.

My dad is constantly telling me this is why i don't like old houses....

2:14 PM  
Blogger John said...

Michael,

Wow, you are hardcore, but I bet they'd get the message.

Poppy,

Thanks!

Sherry,

New is much cheaper in more than one way.

Best of luck with your project. I hope it works out for you.

10:02 AM  

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