The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

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Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

A Prophecy for the End Times

Ms. Scarlet and I had one of the those grim planning sessions I so look forward to this weekend. Over dinner and coffee we had a vision of things to come.

1) The Devil Queen will be painted inside and out & the floors will be refinished by May 7, 2007, whether I get to sleep or not between now and then.
2) Based on our skills in divination, the Queen ought to appraise for enough to pay off two loans and a truck load of debt. This will leave us with a mortgage we can barely afford to pay (because we spent way too much fixing the old whore).
3) Ms. Scarlet will probably be in self-imposed, wage-slave exile until October.
4) The moment the ink dries on the mortgage papers, the Devil Queen and our rent house will go up for sale.
5) If or when the Queen sells, we will probably sell a majority of our furniture because we haven't missed half of it since it's been in storage.

Of course, all futures are possible. In the interest of courting the most favorable outcome, we've decided to be as proactive as possible. Mainly, we're trying to increase our monthly income by $200. Sure, it sounds like a feeble amount, but, since this will be going directly into debt retirement, every bit counts. And, any expenses we can cut out of the budget would be a major help too.

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Blogger Poppy said...


You're going to sell the Queen? Really?

I must've missed a post somewhere...wassup?

9:11 AM  
Anonymous Julia said...

My word, can you actually give up your mistress after all this time?

What will become of you if you do indeed sell the Queen and Mr. Blue?

Will you search for a new mistress?

10:48 AM  
Blogger Lenise said...

More importantly, what will become of us??

Facetiousness aside, I really hope something GOOD unexpectedly happens which will improve your finances and give you the freedom to do what you want (whatever that might be)!

And keep in mind, there's a very cool house across town from us selling at a VERY GOOD PRICE.

12:31 PM  
Blogger John said...

The short version is we've spent twice as much on this project than we planned. This means the mortgage we'll have to take out on it will be twice as big as we planned. We can sort of afford this, but it means that my wife will have to stay at her current job indefinately which also mean we'll only get to see each other and our son on the weekends.

Unless I get a 50-100% pay raise in the next 4 months, the house goes.


I think there may be a longer post on the topic, but the short answer is I'm incorrigible. As soon as I'm out of one woman's bed I'm in another.

Once we get our finances in order, there has been talk of building a new old house amoung other things.


Thanks, and don't worry. I'll be around in some fashion.

That is a nice house across the street, and it is in our price range too. It's funny what working on an old house does to your mind. By the time I'd finished looking at the pictures, I'd automatically compiled a to-do list for it's renovation without noticing what I was doing. It's like a compulsion now. I think I'm a very sick man.

8:20 AM  
Anonymous Julia said...


My husband is like that too. He is always saying.. "well if that were my house, I'd be doing X, Y, Z to it." Ha ha!

2:47 PM  

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