The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

My Photo
Name:
Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Thursday, February 01, 2007

The One-In-Three Rule

The One-In-Three Rule: If John and Scarlet have three cars, only one car will work at any given time.

Arkansas got hit with snow, sleet, and freezing rain yesterday. Unfortunately, it hit about 12 hours earlier than predicted. That means that I got caught out on the road eight miles east of Atkins on my way home from work. This would also be the same time that I lost 1st gear on the Saturn. I was probably the last person for the next few days to make it up the double hairpin road from Atkins to the top of Crow Mountain. I don't think I would of made it without grinding the stick down into the mostly broken 2nd gear. It wasn't pretty.

I made it to the Devil Queen just as the last sunlight faded over the horizon. I left two faucets dripping, fed the cat, made a phone call, packed, and left in under twenty minutes. I took my wife's VW Beetle because it was the least crapped-up car of the two from which I had to pick. I drove west across Crow Mountain to Russellville because it is the only way off the mountain in the snow & ice if dumbasses in Jeep Cherokees aren't blocking the way. Then, I got on the freeway going east to Little Rock.

Two hours later, the Beetle died in a traffic jamb just like it had done to Scarlet the week before. This would also be why I have an appointment scheduled at the VW dealership tomorrow. I waited for ten minutes and tried starting it again. Mercifully, it did start. The traffic cleared, and I made it to my Dad's house before 9PM.

And, I'm abashed to admit that I've never been so happy to see a McMansion in my life. It was warm, clean, and totally devoid of construction debris. And, I had a gloriously hot shower for the first time in weeks (that is another story). I would like to thank Chris for giving me the strength to make this confession. If he can admit his conditional love for IKEA, I can admit that under certain circumstances I'll glad cast aside my deep held belief in aesthetics, quality craftsmanship, and the intrinsic value of old homes for a hot shower and a warm bed.

And, on the upside, Scarlet has the only working car, so hopefully I won't have to worry about her getting stranded somewhere. That's my job now.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Leslie said...

Only a hard-core house renovator with otherwise excellent grammar and spelling skills would instinctively write about a "traffic jamb". ::grin::

And yes. There are unquestionably times when there is absolutely no substitute for flush toilets, hot water, and the ability to move about the house without being draped in clothing worthy of scaling Mt. Everest.

2:18 PM  
Blogger Chris said...

Jeez, you make one sweeping generalisation about a furniture store, then reveal yourself as a huge hypocrite by shopping at said store, and noone lets you live it down. I ask you. I hope Gary gives it to you good about this - I like new homes and I cannot lie, You other brothers can't deny - or something like that.

Reminds me of the kiwi philanthropist who said, "I've donated thousands of dollars to charity, built 3 schools and an orphanage, and adopted 4 disadvantaged kids in my life. But no, you shag one sheep..."

2:36 PM  
Anonymous Joyce C. said...

On paint scrapers. Try a boat supply store. No one scrapes paint as often or as thoroughly as a wood-boat owner. Believe me, I know.

9:06 AM  
Blogger John said...

Leslie, so true. Freudian slip I guess. You know what is on my mind these days.

Chris, I'm (sort of) sorry, but I just can't resist beating a dead when I have a chance.

Joyce, thanks for the tip. I'll have to look on line for that. There are not too many wood boats of any sort around here.

9:44 AM  
Blogger My Marrakech said...

One day when I am really, really rich, I am going to buy a brand NEW car. It sounds incredibly decadent but I swear, it's going to happen...one day...

12:29 PM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 11.13
jordan shoes, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton outlet, louis vuitton outlet, burberry handbags, christian louboutin outlet, replica watches, uggs outlet, tory burch outlet, polo outlet, ray ban sunglasses, longchamp outlet, tiffany jewelry, christian louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet online, nike free, michael kors outlet online, nike air max, oakley sunglasses wholesale, ugg boots, michael kors outlet store, gucci handbags, oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, replica watches, cheap oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, uggs on sale, tiffany and co, louis vuitton, michael kors outlet online, longchamp outlet, louis vuitton, nike air max, christian louboutin uk, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, christian louboutin, prada handbags, nike outlet, oakley sunglasses, burberry outlet, uggs outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet online, prada outlet, longchamp outlet, oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses

12:55 AM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

juicy couture outlet, lancel, pandora uk, moncler outlet, moncler, pandora jewelry, louis vuitton, supra shoes, swarovski, converse outlet, michael kors handbags, moncler, thomas sabo, canada goose, pandora charms, juicy couture outlet, barbour uk, louis vuitton, canada goose, louis vuitton, hollister, doudoune moncler, canada goose jackets, ugg pas cher, ugg, montre pas cher, moncler outlet, canada goose outlet, barbour, doke gabbana, canada goose uk, karen millen uk, moncler, louis vuitton, ugg uk, canada goose outlet, replica watches, moncler uk, pandora jewelry, louis vuitton, marc jacobs, links of london, wedding dresses, swarovski crystal, coach outlet, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, toms shoes, michael kors outlet, moncler, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, canada goose outlet, canada goose

12:59 AM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

nike free uk, burberry pas cher, ralph lauren uk, michael kors pas cher, sac vanessa bruno, coach outlet store online, nike air max uk, true religion outlet, nike roshe, ray ban uk, jordan pas cher, michael kors, coach outlet, hollister pas cher, converse pas cher, hollister uk, louboutin pas cher, timberland pas cher, polo ralph lauren, longchamp pas cher, nike trainers uk, north face, lululemon canada, ray ban pas cher, guess pas cher, nike air max, nike blazer pas cher, sac hermes, nike air max uk, mulberry uk, true religion jeans, true religion outlet, hogan outlet, nike huaraches, vans pas cher, true religion outlet, michael kors outlet, north face uk, michael kors, oakley pas cher, coach purses, abercrombie and fitch uk, air max, nike roshe run uk, sac longchamp pas cher, new balance, polo lacoste, nike free run, nike tn, nike air force

1:06 AM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

abercrombie and fitch, valentino shoes, wedding dresses, mont blanc pens, ghd hair, lululemon, hermes belt, converse, iphone 5s cases, baseball bats, bottega veneta, iphone 6 plus cases, soccer shoes, ray ban, north face outlet, oakley, reebok outlet, iphone cases, vans outlet, iphone 6 cases, asics running shoes, beats by dre, soccer jerseys, nike air max, hollister, vans, mac cosmetics, new balance shoes, ferragamo shoes, nike roshe run, nike air max, babyliss, north face outlet, timberland boots, chi flat iron, herve leger, louboutin, s6 case, celine handbags, ipad cases, mcm handbags, insanity workout, giuseppe zanotti outlet, iphone 6s cases, ralph lauren, jimmy choo outlet, instyler, gucci, p90x workout, iphone 6s plus cases, hollister clothing, nfl jerseys
ninest123 11.13

1:07 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Free Web Site Counter
Website Counter