Paranoidal Floor Crawler

Filthy, floor crawling, frantically scraping away varnish, wood putty, and gouges I toil, mind driving in erratic loops. Scrape, scrape, scrape, sharpen with singing file, repeat, repeat, repeat. Man as relentless machine. Mind wanders far, seizes a thought and flips it like a shining silver coin.

Again and again the phrase repeats, "Steve wants us to do this! You know hand scraped floors are very in now. Sigh."

I shake it off and dine with my paranoid menagerie. "I love this iPod Shuffle, four hours of music in a match book. But, would I hear them? Pernicous intruders, stalking me, drawn by the steady song of blade on board, takinging up the large scraper and driving it down into my skull. Would the stain come out of the grain? Poor floor."

Stupid thoughts, but still I turn to face the doorway side wise as I work. No good ever came from sitting with your back to a door.

Such beautiful blonde and amber wood grain.

Later in the evening tide. Prone and submerged in steaming bath, Gatsby perched tub's lip, I regard the purple and madder blooms, my knees a full flush of tender petals. Tired but satisfied, I calculate, one more hour of scraping, and hour sanding with 150 or 220 grit, vacuum, tack cloth, and finally stain. So much time and work for such a tiny space.

Again, insistent, "Steve wants us to do this! You know hand scraped floors are very in now. Sigh."

WHY! Why would someone do want to do this to themselves!? Poor Jocelyn, tell him no! Say it! Save your back, your hands, your knees!

Again, why? I must know.

A thousand web-spiders are sent crawling and a small few return with answers.

"Hand-scraped and Distressed hardwood floors are becoming a popular choice in today’s upscale homes and commercial buildings. These floors are a newer trend but are rooted in history. Before today’s modern sanding methods, floors were hand scraped on site to make the floors flat. Today’s hand scraping is done to add texture, richness and uniqueness."

And,

"Not all flooring is smooth – texture is popular.

"Hardwood flooring does not have to be smooth. Many companies are offering hand scraped, distressed and reclaimed flooring. These floors have a classic look and add great value to upscale homes. They do not show much wear or scratches since they have a great deal of character interest to draw attention to different parts of the floor. These floors will be a guaranteed conversation piece with your friends and neighbors and are often the focal point at luxury home tours."

Unbidden this image rises.

"Guaranteed conversation piece," indeed.

"Go, look at the floor, and, while you're up, please hand me the walker. Oh you are such a dear, thank you so much. My knees have never been the same."

Are beauty and suffering forever twined?