The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

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Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Do It For A Dollar?

Well, here it is for all interested parties. In my personal opinion if you just want an old house find one you don't have to move. If it's the family's homestead or a one of a kind gem, maybe. I wouldn't recommend it though. Click to enlarge the story, it's mostly legible then.

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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Would You Do It Again For A Dollar?

By the way, the Devil Queen ought to be appearing in the press soon (provided my interview was used). Old-House Journal is running a story about $1.00 houses and whether they are a good idea or not. I think it will be in the May/June issue. We'll see.

So, what do you think I told them?

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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Feeding the Whirlwind - Wicked Fugling Freak Bestiary and More

Hello all. As you may have guessed from the flurry of posts here, there is a lot going on now. As is often the case, much of what we're doing requires money. After years of feeding the Devil Queen pretty much everything we have, our money tree is looking pretty sad. So, since I'm all I have, here it is: if you would like to buy my art, make me an offer.

First of all, I am still selling Home Improvement Monkey Tees shirts ($20.00 each). Tell me what size you'd like and it's yours. If you want a shirt in something besides gray or white, let me know. Blue? Green? Magenta? If I can find it, it's yours. Next week I should be rolling out the 3.0 Home Improvement Monkeys. Evil never looked better.

Second, I'm selling some of what I call "Devil Queen Art." Over the years, any number of illustrations have appeared here. If you want them, you've got them. If you want an ode of doom and destruction emblazoned upon the reverse in blood, you'll have to pay extra. Most of these are in pen & ink and watercolor. Some are more modest. If you need more details, please let me know.






Third, if you would like to commission a house portrait, I have room in my schedule for some. There would be about six week turn around for oil on canvas measuring between 18" x 24" to 24" x 30." If you are interested, please let me know.

Email me here if you are interested in any thing here. Thanks!

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Finances In Pictures

Here is the short version (in pictures) of why we're dumping the Devil Queen after this torrid romance of ours.

First, our finances before the Devil Queen:

While not exactly a lush jungle of vegetation, there are signs of life in the landscape. In the year leading up to the Devil Queen, I'd started a new, better-paying job, we'd refinanced our starter house, and were on our way to paying off all our debits. We'd invested in some land and started a retirement fund. Things were looking good.

And, here is how our finances are now:

No obvious signs of life. Just despair and the rats who gnaw upon it.

Here is a figure to consider. Admittedly, this is an approximation, but over the years we've spent an average of $3,750 a month on this house. And, we weren't working on it for the entire time we've had it. We burned through over $30,000 just getting it moved and set up on the mountain. I can't remember the exact time scale, but there was a $20,000 week in there somewhere.

Anyhow, a more detailed explanation of our decision soon will follow if you have the stomach for it.

Really though, what the fuck were we thinking?

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Wednesday, April 15, 2009


This summer my Dad’s family may be making a pilgrimage back to our ancestral homeland, Chicago.  If this comes to pass, I will be in Chicago sometime in late July or early August.  If any of you Housebloggers would be interested in having dinner or a drink, let me know.  After years of watching you from afar, I’d love to meet you all.


Tuesday, April 14, 2009

A Long Time Coming . . .

Easter came and went without too much fanfare.  Cold rain, power outages, all the teenage cousins being herded through an inter-dimensional portal to China by a five year old, and coffee with a parole officer.  Really, it was a pretty tame affair.

Anyhow, I finally got around to taking a picture of the new front door.  While a full twenty some percent of you think that I will be burning in hell, it really doesn't look as bad as I imagined it.  The fact that it opens and closes with ease is a bit seductive too.

And, for the astute few of you out there who are wondering what in the hell is hanging from the doorknob, that would be our real estate agent's lock box.

That is right.  If you want an old Victorian possessed and brimming with a full century of evil, this house is for you.  Also, we're already done all the hard work.  Finish the paint job, refinish a few floors, and mow the lawn and that is it.  Enjoy old evil with all the modern amenities. 

For those you who are wonder how or why we could put the Devil Queen up for sale, that is another story which I'll tell soon.  However, until that time, here is a little bit for you to think about: $4.00 a gallon gasoline.

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