Feeding the Whirlwind - Wicked Fugling Freak Bestiary and More

Hello all. As you may have guessed from the flurry of posts here, there is a lot going on now. As is often the case, much of what we're doing requires money. After years of feeding the Devil Queen pretty much everything we have, our money tree is looking pretty sad. So, since I'm all I have, here it is: if you would like to buy my art, make me an offer.

First of all, I am still selling Home Improvement Monkey Tees shirts ($20.00 each). Tell me what size you'd like and it's yours. If you want a shirt in something besides gray or white, let me know. Blue? Green? Magenta? If I can find it, it's yours. Next week I should be rolling out the 3.0 Home Improvement Monkeys. Evil never looked better.


Second, I'm selling some of what I call "Devil Queen Art." Over the years, any number of illustrations have appeared here. If you want them, you've got them. If you want an ode of doom and destruction emblazoned upon the reverse in blood, you'll have to pay extra. Most of these are in pen & ink and watercolor. Some are more modest. If you need more details, please let me know.


$50.00

SOLD

$50.00

$35.00

$15.00

Third, if you would like to commission a house portrait, I have room in my schedule for some. There would be about six week turn around for oil on canvas measuring between 18" x 24" to 24" x 30." If you are interested, please let me know.

Email me here if you are interested in any thing here. Thanks!

Exorcism of Winged Evil

Even the wicked need a home of their own.

The home improvement monkeys and their close cousin, the flying monkey, have taken on a life of their own. As with any other creature of evil intent and origin, they take over once you invite them in to your home. Since this is still ostensibly a houseblog, I thought I'd move them out before the totally dominated the Devil Queen.

Damn Cheap Monkeys

Not all monkeys are created equal. This are two misprints from a large order I'm working on now. I can't ship them for obvious reasons, but I need to do something with them. The shirts are new, size large, and in excellent shape. If you don't mind the misprinting, they are yours for $5.00 each which includes first class postage to you. Email me or leave a comment here if you are interested. Thanks!

More Monkey

For those of you who have bought Home Improvement Monkey Tee Shirts, they should begin shipping this week.  The first picture below is a special request version of the monkey, sans the nail-gun.  The bottom picture in the bigger, new and improved Home Improvement Monkey prototype.  Minus a couple of drips, this version is ready to go.  And, of course, the classic Home Improvement is still an option too.  Thanks for the patience.

Home Improvement Apocrypha

I found this while cleaning out some home improvement rat-holes in the living room. It is a 6" x 4" post card, drawn and painted by me. In an effort to de-clutter the house and raise funds for drum sanders, I'm offering it for sale. If you'd like to make an offer, email me.

Houseblog Resurrection

I slit my throat this morning, so I believe the stars are right for resurrection.

The slit throat is an exaggeration of course. I did have a spectacular shaving accident this morning, probably the worst I've ever had. The blood was free flowing. It makes a strong case for thorough caffeination before grooming with razors.

I am serious about the resurrection. To put it charitably, this blog has languished on a becalmed sea too long. Not that this is particularly profound, but I had the recently realization that it's time to finish the Devil Queen. Really. Money is still a problem, but I can work around it for now. However, if I can find $135 by August 8th, I will rent a drum sander.

There is no shortage of things to do. What has been occupying my mind are the following:

1) The floors. They need to be puttied, sanded, and refinished. At this point, I would lay new floors in the living room and dining room if I could afford it. That would cost $2000, so it's not an option. Lots of wood putty and sanding is however.

2) The ceilings. All of them have been stripped down to the bar wood and primed. Most still need to be caulked (Gee, is that insulation I see?) and painted. As they are now, they are fucking hideous.

3) The front door. It is so warped that it is beyond repair. It's replacement is imminent.

4) Paint. Most of the Devil Queen's interior is painted. A good bit of it needs to be touched-up. This includes pretty much anything that is white, mostly doors, trim, and wainscoting. While I'm at it, I'm actually paint all the white the same white. Apparently, there is a noticeable difference between cheap white paint from Wal-Mart and cheap white paint from Lowe's. Well, I think so.

5) Caulk. Since I'll be doing lots of remedial painting, it's the perfect time to do some more caulking. You know, fill all the holes in the walls, giant cracks, spider dens, and other unwholesome crevasses.

6) Storm windows. Sure, it's hot ass the Devil's foreskin now, but winter cometh. I'd like to keep our electric bill in the low triple digits this winter.

7) The master bedroom has musty alcove separated from the rest of the room by an approximation of a door. I understand that this may in fact be a closet. If so, I'd like to line it with cedar of some sort and use it as one.

8) Kill the spiders. Does that really need an explanation?

9) Mow the goddamn grass. Or burn it, which is cheaper since I have a lighter but not a lawn mower.

Scarlet and Gideon will be away on vacation all next week, so I'll be all alone for the better part of 10 days. This includes two weekends. It sounds like the perfect time to completely trash the house, sleep in, have a few beers, and put the bugger back together. And, if I'm feeling frisky, I'll tackle Special Project #10, Satan's Bung-hole. This is otherwise known as "remedial plumbing." Don't worry, I'll post the money shot if I make it.