The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

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Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Friday, August 01, 2008

Houseblog Resurrection

I slit my throat this morning, so I believe the stars are right for resurrection.

The slit throat is an exaggeration of course. I did have a spectacular shaving accident this morning, probably the worst I've ever had. The blood was free flowing. It makes a strong case for thorough caffeination before grooming with razors.

I am serious about the resurrection. To put it charitably, this blog has languished on a becalmed sea too long. Not that this is particularly profound, but I had the recently realization that it's time to finish the Devil Queen. Really. Money is still a problem, but I can work around it for now. However, if I can find $135 by August 8th, I will rent a drum sander.

There is no shortage of things to do. What has been occupying my mind are the following:

1) The floors. They need to be puttied, sanded, and refinished. At this point, I would lay new floors in the living room and dining room if I could afford it. That would cost $2000, so it's not an option. Lots of wood putty and sanding is however.

2) The ceilings. All of them have been stripped down to the bar wood and primed. Most still need to be caulked (Gee, is that insulation I see?) and painted. As they are now, they are fucking hideous.

3) The front door. It is so warped that it is beyond repair. It's replacement is imminent.

4) Paint. Most of the Devil Queen's interior is painted. A good bit of it needs to be touched-up. This includes pretty much anything that is white, mostly doors, trim, and wainscoting. While I'm at it, I'm actually paint all the white the same white. Apparently, there is a noticeable difference between cheap white paint from Wal-Mart and cheap white paint from Lowe's. Well, I think so.

5) Caulk. Since I'll be doing lots of remedial painting, it's the perfect time to do some more caulking. You know, fill all the holes in the walls, giant cracks, spider dens, and other unwholesome crevasses.

6) Storm windows. Sure, it's hot ass the Devil's foreskin now, but winter cometh. I'd like to keep our electric bill in the low triple digits this winter.

7) The master bedroom has musty alcove separated from the rest of the room by an approximation of a door. I understand that this may in fact be a closet. If so, I'd like to line it with cedar of some sort and use it as one.

8) Kill the spiders. Does that really need an explanation?

9) Mow the goddamn grass. Or burn it, which is cheaper since I have a lighter but not a lawn mower.

Scarlet and Gideon will be away on vacation all next week, so I'll be all alone for the better part of 10 days. This includes two weekends. It sounds like the perfect time to completely trash the house, sleep in, have a few beers, and put the bugger back together. And, if I'm feeling frisky, I'll tackle Special Project #10, Satan's Bung-hole. This is otherwise known as "remedial plumbing." Don't worry, I'll post the money shot if I make it.

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