Progress = Demonic Possession

I need an exorcist. I worked on the Devil Queen two nights this week. Demonic possession is the only explanation I can offer.

Last night, I ventured into our much blighted master bathroom. The carnage was swept up, I fought a monstrous brown recluse to a draw (it escaped into a hole minus a few legs, I'll be looking for it again tonight), and I caulked the crack to wasp heaven shut.

Wednesday night, the work was more substantive. Here was the situation when I started.


That's right. It's a lovely, refurbished rim lock without a catch. Once upon a time just before our appraisal, I had a lock-catch picked out for this door. I don't know what happened after that. I suspect that I ran out of time and the lock-catch got used for one of the other doors in the house.

Ideally, the catch ought to be the same size as the rim lock. Unfortunately, all the catches I have left are for smaller sized rim-locks. This left me with two options: 1) go to some junk shops to find a matching lock-catch or 2) just us what I have and hope that no one really notices. Besides, since the lock-catch is smaller than it ought to be, I can always substitute a better matching lock-catch at a later date if the little one bugs me.

Since most people have no idea what a rim-lock is or what one should look like, I felt like option #2 sounded pretty good. And, I'm really tired of waiting on shit. If I'm in the mood to do something, I better do it. If I wait for the stars to be right, it will never happen.

After rummaging through my collection of lock-catches and selecting one, I proceeded to strip all the old paint and mystery gunk using the boiling method (see this post for details if you are interested). Then I shellacked the lock-catch to match the refurbished rim lock.

Since the lock-catch is around 3/4 of an inch shorter than the rim lock, I centered the lock-catch on the rim lock's door latch and dead bolt. Once I was satisfied with it's placement, I penciled the lock-catch's profile onto the door jamb. Then, I used one of my favorite hand tools, a chisel, to cut out the lock-catch's nook. Remember, the key to using a chisel is making sure that it is sharp. If it isn't, you might as well ought to use a flat-head screwdriver because the finished product will be about the same.

Here is the cut-out after about 10-15 minutes of slow, patient chiseling.

And, here is the finished product. It's isn't a perfect installation, but it is pretty close. I accidentally made the cut-out about 1/16 of an inch too deep. This means that you have to give the door a firm push to get the latch to catch all of the way. And, I had to shift the lock-catch to the left about an 1/8 of an inch too. This leaves a gap between the right side of the lock-catch and the door trim.

The flash makes the photo look much worse than it actually is. It isn't really noticeable in person. The gap's shadow blends with the hardware's dark finish, so it is hidden in plain-sight. Only a truly anal DIY'er or Virgo would notice.

Rim Lock Cock Block

The cold front and the accompanying rain killed my exterior painting plans. Then, I had house chores to do and phone calls to make and take. Since I'd spent the day psyching myself up for some real home improvement progress, I felt the need to do something. Anything.

As you may recall, we threw more than a few things together for our appraisal this summer. "A few things" would include most of the door knobs and lock sets in the Devil Queen. Aside from the fact that 90% of these never got a proper cleaning, oiling, and shellacking, they are going to need some work. The parlor door knob feel off roughly 30 minutes after the appraisal and needs to be replaced. Several rim locks don't have catches for the latch. This isn't too big of an issue except in the bathrooms. And, the master bedroom and living room rim locks are falling off the doors. Why? Well, since we were in a rush, I used the screws I had available to mount the locks. Unfortunately, these screws are roughly 1/4 an inch too short, and, as we’ve used the doors, the screws have worked their way out of their holes. The master bedroom lock is particularly bad.


Fortunately, I now have the right sized screws. So, since I was feeling ambitious last night, I though I'd fix this master bedroom lock at the very least. I figured that screwing in a couple of screws would be pretty easy, and it should have been. However, it helps if you have a screw driver. And, since I'm a narrow minded guy, I wanted a Phillips screwdriver for my Phillips screws. No such luck. Since our shit-in-storage has exploded all over the parlor and main hall, finding anything smaller than an armoire is impossible. I'm nearly as stubborn as I am incompetent, so I refused to accept defeat. I improvised.

At this point, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Then, as I finished mounting the first screw, I had a thought: "Maybe you should just go ahead a finish properly refurbishing the lock before you remount it for all eternity. What do you think?"

Son of a bitch. So, I left the damn thing hanging as-is and went to bed utterly unfulfilled.

Maybe I'll have better luck tonight?

Two Tactical Victories

The weekend was a whirlwind.

We went to Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, for a wedding on April 14th, the 95 Anniversary of the Sinking of the Titanic. A nice wedding, but was that the most auspicious day for one?

Sunday, our third and newest car broke down. It's still in the shop. That pretty well ruined most of the day. The funniest part is everytime we tell someone that our car broke down they say, "So the Saturn finally went. You sure got some good use out of it though." The look of incredulity is priceless when we tell them, "No. Actually, the Saturn is the only car that is still running. The new one broke down."

Our crisp, smoking broken-down-asses were pulled out of the fire by the immense kindness of two friends of ours. They not only picked us up off the side of the road, but loaned my wife their car until hers is out of the shop. Incase anyone is wondering, we are in the process of constructing a shrine for their perpetual worship. I mean, I'm so grateful that I'd willingly commit multiple felonies at their request. Thank you!

Then, I took Gideon to the doctor to have his allergies checked et cetera. And, best yet, I got to do all of this with a cold which my wife has now caught. Really, the cold is my fault. Last week, I worked myself too hard and slept too little. By Thursday night, I'd pretty well wrecked myself. Friday was spent fielding a lot of questions about why I looked dead.

By the time Sunday night was crashing to an end, I was very weary. And, it wasn't just the cold, the stress, and the 750+ miles on the road catching up with me.

It's amazing what spending a few days away from the Devil Queen can do for you. It takes very little time to get use to things like a clean house, real furniture, and the utter absence of construction sites and tools. You suddenly remember what it is like to live in a normal house, under normal conditions.

And then, you come home. There you are, sitting on top of a five gallon bucket of primer by the light of a bare, 60 watt bulb thinking, "There were trenches at the Somme that looked better than this, why the fuck are you living here?"

I was demoralized. In that brief absence I'd lost my sense of direction and purpose, but, after a night's sleep and a lot of coffee, I managed to regroup. While I should have massed my forces right away and stormed the hall, I decided to start off with two small, carefully chosen battles, skirmishes really.

I needed a taste of victory and a small dose of closure. Besides, it needed to be done anyhow.

The first battle started when I noticed I'd nearly fallen into an ambush. The house took advantage of my preoccupation. Last night, I had a sudden epiphany and spotted the trap. "Damn it man, the porch is painted! Clean off all the stupid tarps and rubbish, and quit stumbling over it every day." I decided that was a wonderful idea, particularly since the cat had deposited something small, dead, and wonderfully ripe by the front door. The way the porch was collecting flies and bad karma was appalling. I could feel it closing in upon my soul.

So, I sprang into action, and, while I was at it, I wired up the porch light.

The house wasn't expecting this little assault, she hardly put up a fight. I followed up with trying to finish off Pee-Wee's Playhouse's rim lock.

She tried to rally her forces, but she was still off balance. With the last minute substitution of a different set of knobs, this little piece of work fell together nicely. Now, all I have to do is chisel out a place for the lock-catch and it's finished. Even so, this is the first door in the whole bloody house with real, working, "finished" hardware. Not even the front door can boast this.

Emboldened, I descended upon the hall, a never-ending war of attrition. I'm moving forward, but who ever put the 100,000 staples in the foyer wall should have their private parts stomped. Considerer yourself warned.

I'm going to try to smuggle out one last post today. Then, I'll have to slip back into radio silence for Friday, Saturday, and, maybe Sunday. The enemy is always watching.

Run silent, run deep. Then, blow the bastards out of the water, right?

Night of Ill Humors

Last night I just didn't quite feel well. I wasn't sick per se, I just didn't feel good either. Tired, stomach ache, wane, and aching muscles and joints. I got a late start last evening and didn't accomplish too much. A cat-nap, drugs, and half a pot of coffee helped quite a bit though.

Anyhow, this is what I did manage to do. First, I "tented" the living room in preparation for scraping down the ceiling.

Here is what the ceiling looks like now.

Here is the close up.

This stuff is really loose. Some of it pealed away with a dirty look. I originally thought this ceiling would be a three or four day project, but now I'm wondering if I could knock it out in two.

Here is how it should look when I'm finished. This is the foyer ceiling in case you care.

And, here is what I did with the rest of my time, striped and shellacked door hardware (sorry, not the complete set here).

Sorry, I can't find the picture of the door. It will close off the laundry room.

I love how the floor flows seamlessly from room to room, well worth the effort.

Tonight, without further ado, I shall assault and vanquish the living room ceiling.

Monday, My Mental Health Day

Not only does all work and no play make Johnny a dull boy, it makes him an evil monomaniacal bastard. And that is just not fun for anyone. So aside from a little tinkering around the house and a good mental exorcism, I sat quietly, drank tea, ate a light dinner, took a nap and went to bed. How do I feel now? I feel great! Who knew seven hours of deep sleep could make such a difference?

With that rude little deadline encroaching upon us, how can a justify this therapeutic slackerdom? Easy, we worked on the Devil Queen all weekend. Things were caulked, primed and occasionally painted. And, more notably, Ms. Scarlet put two coats of poly down on the laundry room floor.

Of course, she had to contribute to the scraped vs. sanded wood floor debate after spending several hours crawling around on it. She prefers the drum-sanded look to the scraped look. And, she said the rougher surface of the scraped floor made it more difficult to apply the poly. Not an earth-shattering difference, but enough to annoy her. And no one wants an annoyed Scarlet.

In an attempt to burn your retinas with my sub-par photography skills, here is a close-up of the scraped flooring.

What I'm trying show is the variation in the surface. The photo flattens everything out, so you can't really see it here. In particular, more of the soft wood (light blonde) was scraped away than the dark grain which is slightly raised. To the best of my knowledge, this wood hasn't been wet, so I don't think that accounts for the raised grain.

As part of our family outing on Saturday, we stopped at a cool little junk/antique store in Dardanelle, just over the river from Russellville. They have some pretty incredible stuff there. But, what was I so annoyingly thrilled to find for $6.00?

See, exciting isn't it. In case you have no idea what these rusty, painted smeared bits of metal are, they are latch catches for 3 1/4 inch rim locks. They are a perfect fit too, so I won't have to cut any of the door trim to make these fit. All I need are a few good screws.

For Exhibit #2 in my effort to prove that I should not seek a career as a professional photographer, here is what I used as my excuse for enjoying the good weather and playing with Gideon outside.

These are terrible photographs. Really, it looks much better in person. In case you can't tell from the photo (My eyes! My eyes! I'm blind!), this is a dry-stack (i.e. no mortar) rock retaining wall. In theory this wall is supposed to continue on for another 60-70 feet in front and to the side of the Devil Queen. For the time being, we would settle for getting the section directly in front of the house finished before the appraisal. If the current issue of This Old House can be trusted, having a nice front entry not only makes a good first impression but can add 10%-25% to a home's value, and we need every penny we can get.

In addition to the wall, we're planning to lay a brick patio in the for ground, a slightly raised flower bed in front of the porch, and a lot a flower beds at the top of the wall too. By the time we've finished planting, a lot of the rock should be covered in creeping or climbing vegetation.

Shellac vs. Paint on Rim Locks

Actually, this post is mainly for my wife's benefit. She likes a good compare & contrast.

Here is one of Gary's rim locks with shellac & dye:

Here is a replica with what looks to be a painted finish:

They both look good to me, it is just a matter of what you like & want.

Rape of the Lock(s)

So many locks, so little time.

As I mentioned in this post, I'm trying scrounge up enough working, salvaged hardware to put proper doorknobs et cetera on the Devil Queen's doors. Again, here is the space I'm trying to fill.


If I can find locks and knobs that match this profile, I will save my self a ton of work. No modifications or additional work should be needed. I can simply (what a misleading word!) install the new hardware and voila.

Here is our first contender, a hardware set salvage from the Davis House in Atkins.

This set was immediately disqualified for use in the hallway because it is the wrong size. It isn't wide enough and it is too tall. However, since we used doors salvaged from the Davis House for the master bathroom, laundry room, pantry, and my son's closet, I thought we might be able to use it in one of those locations. I decided to look at its guts which is simple enough. Only one screw holds these locks together, and it is easy remove. Here is what I found after I cleaned out the dead Brown Recluse spiders.

Here is the lock with the dead bolt removed.

And, a closer look reveals that the spring (a band of tempered iron or steel) is broken in half. You might be able to make a replacement spring. I vaguely remember an eighth grade science experiment where we tempered a soft strip of steel (similar in size and shape to this spring) in a Bunsen Burner. You'd super-heat the steel in the burner flame and then plunge it into cold water. The rapid cooling changed the physical properties of the steel and made it stronger. This meant that if bent it would spring back to its original position.

In any case, the set can still be used for a door that you do not want locked, the pantry or closet perhaps?

And here are two photos of the latch. I was going to go into how to reverse the latch to accommodate either left or right opening doors. However, this latch can only face in one direct, so that tangent will have to wait until later. In case you're wondering locks two and three can be reversed, but that will be a different post perhaps.

Our second lock is this one.

This lock is from my mother-in-law's stash. I was very excited with this one because it is same size as our missing locks. However, I was disappointed to find that the deadbolt mechanism is broken. I'm not sure if it is missing a piece or the deadbolt is bent or misaligned. When I opened the lock, the deadbolt was shoved all the way into the lock. Once I freed the bolt from its jammed position, I encountered a second problem; the "tab" on the underside of the deadbolt, which catches on the key to lock/unlock the bolt, hangs down into the key hole. It is positioned in such a way that you can't fit a key into the hole. No amount of fumbling with the bolt solved the problem. Either it was jammed into place or it blocked the hole.

I suppose I can still use this lockset for the living room if I cram the bolt back into the jammed position. I mean, I can't think of any particular reason I'd need to lock myself in my living room. Unless the Gestapo is after me. And, if they were, do you think a rim lock is going to stop them? Doubt it.

So, this lock is rated as a maybe. Not my first choice, but I'll use it if I must.

And, here is the third lock.

Again, this lock is a perfect match to our missing ones.

To make it even sweeter, this poor lock's ugly face conceals a fully functional mechanism. And, in addition to the key operated deadbolt, it has a second, smaller deadbolt that is manually operated with a switch on the lock's underside. So, if you really want to be left alone, this is the lock for you. No sneaky rat-bastard is going to get in just because he can pick your lock. He'll have kick the damn door down. Needless to say, this lock is going on the master bedroom door. I like my privacy.

They only thing that I don't like about this lock is that it has the same spring-strip mechanisms that the first, broken lock had. I'm afraid that with use, this lock will break too.

At this point in the evening, I was running out of time so our misadventure must come to an end for now. Besides, how many rim locks do you really want to see disassembled?

Rim Lock Eye Candy

This rim lock recently sold on eBay for $46 plus shipping. Iron with brass wash finish. Good stuff.

Rim Job

I'm probably getting way ahead of myself, but I'm obsessing about door hardware. Sure, the Queen isn't painted, I really need to be doing some serious prep work, finishing bathrooms, and what not, but what I really like to do is strip and shellac my doors and fit them with rim locks.

I never really thought about it until I read this post over at the Emery Restoration, but some of you, particularly bungalow dwellers and all that came after, might not be familiar with these buggers.

From the little reading I've done, rim locks were very popular (if not the only real option) at the end of the 1700's through roughly 1900. Prior to 1830, most if not all rim locks were imported from Great Britain since there were no manufactures in the states at that time.

The Devil Queen was built in 1890, and, judging from ghostly voids like the one shown below, all of the Devil Queen's doors were equipped with rim locks.

So, where did the locks go? During those long years that she sat vacant waiting for some dumbass like me, someone stripped her of all her hardware. Lucky me. The prices for replacements, whether antique or reproduction are sky high, particularly when you are looking to buy eight to ten of these things (go here and here to look at some of the beauties out there). That could easily add up to $400-$500 at the minimum. You can't even get a good deal on most of the ones on eBay either.

These two reproduction locks are fairly modest and probably what the Devil Queen had. The first set is about $60 and the second around $90.

So, I'm just a poor bastard left selling his ass on a street corner to finance his addiction to old house hardware, right? Mercifully, no.

For once, I am a bit of a lucky bastard. When we torn down the old farm house in Atkins, we stripped all of the doors and hardware. Also, when we bought the Devil Queen, my mother-in-law bequeathed her antique doorknob & hardware collection to us. And, the good folks at Nightmare on Elm Street sent us some more. So, at no cost to ourselves, we have quite a collection from which to chose.

Now, the real question is, will all or any of these locks fit our doors?

And the answer to that will be another post.