The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

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Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Cannibalism is Inevitable

I’m not sure how the weather is where you live, but it is starting to feel an awful lot like fall. My wife and I feel time is racing away as we begin the inevitable descent into the winter abyss; the shadows are falling longer as the sun sinks further to the south every day. We are not ready for this rapid decline into the dark and cold.

Worst of all, for the first time in years, we do not have a wood burning stove for back up heat. If we loose power this winter, we are screwed. I just don’t see us navigating down two hair-pin turns covered in a sheet of ice. If the outage lasts longer than a few days, we’ll have to either hike to my in-laws (few miles down a steep incline through the woods with a two year old) or resort to cannibalism to survive. My immediate neighbors seem nice, so I’d hate to go all Donner Party on them. Still, the grim reality is we may have too.

If we survive the winter, maybe next year we’ll install a soap stone stove in the parlor/front bedroom. It would be neighbor friendly if nothing else.

As further fodder for my paranoia and pessimism, I’ve been reading Jared Diamond’s book Collapse when I should be scraping paint. Fascinating if you enjoy man made apocalypses.

As a sign of things to come, my wife was reduced to washing a pair of underwear in the bath tub by hand last night. I’m dismayed that we’ve sunk to such a sad state of degradation; next we’ll be foraging for edible roots & plants to survive. O, glories of civilization why have you forsaken us!?

Anyone have a good recipe for long-pork?


Blogger Greg said...

How often does it happen that you lose power for days at a time?

What about a cheap generator and a space heater. You should be able to set something up for a few hundred dollars. Huddling together in one reasonably warm room sounds better than eating your neighbors.

9:08 AM  
Anonymous Annie said...

We used a Kero-Sun spave heater in a main (and drafty!) living room growing up and it worked fine. No lingering odors, either. Careful with a generator for the same reason, although i'm sure you know this. it breaks my heart each year to hear about people asphyxiating by running a generator in their basement or utility room.
Another public service announcement brought to you by a carbon monoxide detector.

12:31 PM  
Blogger Kristin said...

Oh, John you made my day with this cannabalism post.

9:24 AM  

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