The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

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Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Friday, September 08, 2006

Care to Make a Wager?

I was going to post about a particularly odious brand of wood putty, but the accompanying pictures have vanished. So, there is no odious wood putty for you to ogle today. Instead you may enjoy a token door knob.

The RemovAll arrived yesterday, so we are seriously considering a paint scraping contest in the name of science. For those of you who are interesting in betting on the winner, here is some information which may give you a better idea of the odds.

Ms. Scarlet: Fiery, stubborn, and impatient, Scarlet will be championing the Removall in this contest. If the RemovAll works as advertised and the paint just slides off, her enthusiasm will kick in and she’ll probably kick my ass. If it craps out like every other stripper we’ve tried, her low threshold for frustration and explosive temper will become the deciding factor. If she chunks the scraper into the woods and quits, she’ll be counted among the losers.

Me: I will be championing the tried and true, suck-ass hardwork-method of paint removal, scraping it off with no assistance from stripers, heat guns, sanders, etc. I have the advantages of autistic like monomania for repetitive tasks and better upper body strength than Ms. Scarlet. On the other hand, I am prone to grievous self-injury and accidents, so I may conceivably gimp myself out of the contest. I’m also a slow worker.

The Devil Queen: She is evil, tenacious, and cruel. Despite our valiant efforts, she may reign victorious and rebuff all efforts to remove her god-awful paint. The Devil Queen has no known weakness and lives eternally like a chthonic goddess of the underworld.

So, any bets on who will win?

5 Comments:

Blogger Greg said...

My money is on you and the grunt work method. Mainly because you can get a lot done while Ms. Scarlet waits for the RemoveAll to work. Even so, I’m very curious to see how well this stuff works. The only place I’ve seen it used was on an episode of TOH. It worked, but it took several applications.

Oh, I’ll probably have a side bet on The Devil Queen. I always play it safe.

11:08 AM  
Anonymous Lisajo said...

Hmmm, gobs of toxic muck and piles of toxic chips...please tell me the little one will be safetly strapped down somewhere. Like in Idaho.

5:25 PM  
Blogger derek said...

I think scraping the paint dry is the most dangerous in terms of inhaling lead chips. The heat gun seems like the fastest, I've been using stripper to get the last little bit off, and near glass, so I don't have to remove the glass.

5:49 PM  
Anonymous Brenda from Flatbush said...

I'm with Derek, methodology-wise. If Ms. Scarlet is using the old-fashioned lethal stuff (methylene chloride, Zip Strip etc.), then my bet's on her. If she's using "green" stripper, put my chips on the Queen. No money down on you with tooth and claw alone, unless you are way more autistic than you're letting on. Good luck!
(And, nice doorknob portraiture...really!)

6:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm thinking that if you can't get the stubborn paint off, just leave it and paint over it -- a good primer coat.

7:52 AM  

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