Sharing a Bed With the Restless Dead?

Is your house haunted? Two things (see below and this) I've seen recently have me thinking about this today. I think I may have already asked this once upon a time, but I thought I'd ask since I can't remember. Too many fumes I guess.

Is your house haunted?
	No.
	No, I don't believe in crap like that.
	Maybe, but I can't prove it.
	Not sure, but I'm beginning to think so.
	Probably.
	Yes.
	Yes, I live in the Shining. Please send a priest.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

As you long-time readers know, we definately believe the Devil Queen is haunted by it's builder, Mr. Boswell, and some of his family, so I'm voting "yes." If your house is haunted, I'd love to hear about it. Stories, links to blog posts, et cetera. Thanks!

Binding the Beast, Demonology Part II

I gambled it all last night, and I hooked up the washing machine. David, you're right. I do love the little beast, but I have to admit that I haven't washed anything in it.

In hindsight, I feel like a retard which really isn't all that unusual. The way that I obsessed about hooking up the beast, the anxiety I wallowed in, and the loathing I felt are absurd. But, I can only say that because the damn thing seems to work. Remember that "simple" hooking up the bathroom sink job we did for Christmas? I do. It was not pretty. Why should this be any different?

I read the instructions about a dozen times before I even touched the thing. I connected the water lines, flushed the lines, connected them to the washer, set up the drain pipe and leveled the beast. Leveling it was actually the hardest part. It alone probably accounted for fifty percent of the time I spent on this project. So far, so good.

Then I plugged it in, flipped the breaker on line, set it on "delicates," and pushed start. I was so nervous that my stomach vaguely entertained the ultimate drama, puking.

No, I didn't load it with clothes or soap the first time out. Cleaning up water is bad enough. Soapy water all over the wood floors? No thank you. And, over the next thirty minutes, I anxiously watched it whirl and slosh its way through the cycle. Everything seems to work just fine, a sure sign something must be terribly wrong. Then, it was over. No puddles, geysers, fires, explosions, or malicious supernatural phenomenon.

Wow.

And, this morning as I got ready for work, I checked it again. Still no laundry room disasters.

Tonight, I'm going to go crazy with it. The question I must now wrestle with is, "whites or colored?"

Demonology

In case you’re looking for some motivation to tackle your next big project, here is a little something for you. According to something I recently read (sorry, forgot where), demons like to haunt dirty, rundown and preferably abandoned homes. Tearing out that shag carpet and repainting the bedroom might be more than aesthetically pleasing, it might be a form of exorcism as well. There is nothing more satisfying that killing two birds with one stone, right?

Here at the Devil Queen, we have a new addition to our un-holy menagerie. A couple weeks ago it took up permanent residence in our laundry room. The light bulb burned out at roughly the same time and I just haven't worked up enough nerve to venture back there to replace it. In fact, I try not go back there at all. Why? What is so terrifying that even I refuse to tread there? This.

Can you see the little bastard mocking me from just inside the doorway? Don't be fooled, it may look exactly like a brand new, front loading washing machine, but it's not! It is a large, well formed plumbing demon.

Late at night I can hear it whispering to me. "John, you know you want to wash your socks. I could do such a good job if you'd just give me a chance. Just connect me to the waterlines, plug me in, and give me a spin. John? Are you listening John? I'm so lonely back here. John…" It just goes on and on for hours. I can't hardly stand it.

And the worst part is that I really want to hook it up now, but I'm spooked. I'm not sure if my mojo is strong enough to even attempt a simple plumbing job like this. Why the fear, the shame, the torment? Experience has proven to me that plumbing, no matter how simple it may appear, is actually simple. Plumbing is the Devil, and I'm not sure if I'm in good enough with the Good Lord to put my everlasting soul in peril. I doubt.

Ready or not, I have a feeling that this fallen angel will have to be wrestled with sooner rather than later. I guess I better see if I can find some holy water and a few good stakes on the way home tonight.