The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

My Photo
Name:
Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Binding the Beast, Demonology Part II

I gambled it all last night, and I hooked up the washing machine. David, you're right. I do love the little beast, but I have to admit that I haven't washed anything in it.

In hindsight, I feel like a retard which really isn't all that unusual. The way that I obsessed about hooking up the beast, the anxiety I wallowed in, and the loathing I felt are absurd. But, I can only say that because the damn thing seems to work. Remember that "simple" hooking up the bathroom sink job we did for Christmas? I do. It was not pretty. Why should this be any different?

I read the instructions about a dozen times before I even touched the thing. I connected the water lines, flushed the lines, connected them to the washer, set up the drain pipe and leveled the beast. Leveling it was actually the hardest part. It alone probably accounted for fifty percent of the time I spent on this project. So far, so good.

Then I plugged it in, flipped the breaker on line, set it on "delicates," and pushed start. I was so nervous that my stomach vaguely entertained the ultimate drama, puking.

No, I didn't load it with clothes or soap the first time out. Cleaning up water is bad enough. Soapy water all over the wood floors? No thank you. And, over the next thirty minutes, I anxiously watched it whirl and slosh its way through the cycle. Everything seems to work just fine, a sure sign something must be terribly wrong. Then, it was over. No puddles, geysers, fires, explosions, or malicious supernatural phenomenon.

Wow.

And, this morning as I got ready for work, I checked it again. Still no laundry room disasters.

Tonight, I'm going to go crazy with it. The question I must now wrestle with is, "whites or colored?"

Labels: , ,

9 Comments:

Anonymous Cat M. said...

Congratulations on no disasters with the snazzy front loader. Just don't put much soap in--err on the side of caution. My front loader (different brand) takes 1/4 of what my old top loader did. If I put in more, I get an I Love Lucy episode in my laundry room.

I suspect the only bugaboo will be minor frustration with the direction the machine's door opens with your room layout.

Enjoy your new toy--

10:26 AM  
Anonymous Midwestkids said...

OOO...so jealous! We have some old 1970's washer and I swear it uses so much water and energy that the lights in Washington, DC dim a bit when we run it. With the home warranty I'm to stingy to replace it, so hopefully it will die beyond repair before 9/11/07.

2:48 PM  
Anonymous Brenda from Flatbush said...

Dude, you are a SLAYER!!

7:55 AM  
Anonymous Kathy from NJ said...

I agree with Brenda's comment from a few days ago. How can you possibly even think about selling her? I would suggest that after the financing is finalized you take the rest of the summer off, enjoy the fruits of your labor and maybe fall in love with her again.

10:14 AM  
Blogger John said...

Cat M., thanks for the tip. Seems very important to know, wouldn't have thought of that on my own.

midwestkids, I know what you mean. This is the nicest appliance I've ever owned. I still don't feel like it's mine.

Brenda, thanks!

Kathy, not a bad idea if I can afford to do it. I'll be addressing the whole to sell/not to sell issue in the near future.

2:07 PM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 11.13
jordan shoes, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton outlet, louis vuitton outlet, burberry handbags, christian louboutin outlet, replica watches, uggs outlet, tory burch outlet, polo outlet, ray ban sunglasses, longchamp outlet, tiffany jewelry, christian louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet online, nike free, michael kors outlet online, nike air max, oakley sunglasses wholesale, ugg boots, michael kors outlet store, gucci handbags, oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, replica watches, cheap oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, uggs on sale, tiffany and co, louis vuitton, michael kors outlet online, longchamp outlet, louis vuitton, nike air max, christian louboutin uk, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, christian louboutin, prada handbags, nike outlet, oakley sunglasses, burberry outlet, uggs outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet online, prada outlet, longchamp outlet, oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses

12:18 AM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

juicy couture outlet, lancel, pandora uk, moncler outlet, moncler, pandora jewelry, louis vuitton, supra shoes, swarovski, converse outlet, michael kors handbags, moncler, thomas sabo, canada goose, pandora charms, juicy couture outlet, barbour uk, louis vuitton, canada goose, louis vuitton, hollister, doudoune moncler, canada goose jackets, ugg pas cher, ugg, montre pas cher, moncler outlet, canada goose outlet, barbour, doke gabbana, canada goose uk, karen millen uk, moncler, louis vuitton, ugg uk, canada goose outlet, replica watches, moncler uk, pandora jewelry, louis vuitton, marc jacobs, links of london, wedding dresses, swarovski crystal, coach outlet, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, toms shoes, michael kors outlet, moncler, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, canada goose outlet, canada goose

12:20 AM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

nike free uk, burberry pas cher, ralph lauren uk, michael kors pas cher, sac vanessa bruno, coach outlet store online, nike air max uk, true religion outlet, nike roshe, ray ban uk, jordan pas cher, michael kors, coach outlet, hollister pas cher, converse pas cher, hollister uk, louboutin pas cher, timberland pas cher, polo ralph lauren, longchamp pas cher, nike trainers uk, north face, lululemon canada, ray ban pas cher, guess pas cher, nike air max, nike blazer pas cher, sac hermes, nike air max uk, mulberry uk, true religion jeans, true religion outlet, hogan outlet, nike huaraches, vans pas cher, true religion outlet, michael kors outlet, north face uk, michael kors, oakley pas cher, coach purses, abercrombie and fitch uk, air max, nike roshe run uk, sac longchamp pas cher, new balance, polo lacoste, nike free run, nike tn, nike air force

12:21 AM  
Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

abercrombie and fitch, valentino shoes, wedding dresses, mont blanc pens, ghd hair, lululemon, hermes belt, converse, iphone 5s cases, baseball bats, bottega veneta, iphone 6 plus cases, soccer shoes, ray ban, north face outlet, oakley, reebok outlet, iphone cases, vans outlet, iphone 6 cases, asics running shoes, beats by dre, soccer jerseys, nike air max, hollister, vans, mac cosmetics, new balance shoes, ferragamo shoes, nike roshe run, nike air max, babyliss, north face outlet, timberland boots, chi flat iron, herve leger, louboutin, s6 case, celine handbags, ipad cases, mcm handbags, insanity workout, giuseppe zanotti outlet, iphone 6s cases, ralph lauren, jimmy choo outlet, instyler, gucci, p90x workout, iphone 6s plus cases, hollister clothing, nfl jerseys
ninest123 11.13

12:22 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Free Web Site Counter
Website Counter