The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

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Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Thursday, January 18, 2007


I got a late start on my house projects last night. I was side tracked by my idiot quest to find a new power supply for my wife's printer. I lost the original one during our move. I'm sure it is in the storage room, but finding it is an entirely different matter. My quest has taken me to two Radio Shacks and a Walmart. No luck so far. In desperation I turned to eBay. Good news is I found a gob of them for sale for $10 or less. Bad news is that they all want to be paid immediately and I have $2.00 in my Paypal account. So, now I get to play the transfer money game which adds 4 days or so to the whole process.

Then, I went to wire up the friggin ceiling light in the hall bath. I apparently had unreasonably high expectations for a quick, hassle free installation. I was thinking that I would open the box, take out the light fixture, disconnect the bare bulb and socket, connect the light fixture, screw it in place. Nope. Not me.

Instead, I open the box and pull out exactly two pieces. The shade and the metal "trim" which secures the shade to the base. There was no base, no light, no bulb, no wires, nothing else. The three screw on nuts that were supposed to lock the two pieces I did have together we likewise absent.

The root of the problem is that this particular light given to us by someone who'd bought it off of eBay. The weren't happy with it and somehow we ended up with it. Anyhow, now I know why it was of utterly no use. Maybe I knew at one time and thought that I could work some MacGyver magic on it, but, if I did, I've since forgotten. If I did, what was I thinking?!

So, there I am with a piece in each hand talking to myself. "You've got to be fucking kidding me, where is the rest of this?! This is bull-shit. What the fuck do I do with this?" I took a moment to collect myself and gave up. I returned the two utterly useless pieces into their box, and made an executive decision; "Fuck this, I'm going to Lowe's tomorrow and buying a light with all its pieces. And then, I going to come home and install the bastard. The end."

And, I feel better for it.

The rest of the short time left to me was devoted to setting everything up in the laundry room so I can paint tonight. I'm sure my ambitions will be thwarted and misery will ensue, but what else is there for me to do? Enjoying life is for the weak.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you have a bank account or credit card/bank card linked to your Paypal account you can make the payment immediatly and Paypal will draw the money from your account, no 3 day wait.

I made that mistake once when I was trying to make a $1000 purchase and had to wait 3 days to send the money.

5:23 PM  
Blogger John said...

Hmm. Maybe I'm missing something? I have a bank account linked to Paypal. When I send money to my Paypal account, it immedately disappears from my bank account but takes 3-4 days to appear in Paypal.

5:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's true in our case too. We don't load up our Paypal account at all, and just have it linked to the credit card. When we make a purchase, as jason says, it just comes directly off of our credit card. Then again we've never bought anything over $15 CAD so perhaps that's not how things work if you're a bigger spender.

7:04 AM  

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