The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

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Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Testicles: They're Worth $10, Right?

I'd recommend that all of you aspiring, DIY electricians save up $10-$15 and buy one of these.

I bought a GE one similar to the second one pictured this last week, and I love the little bastard. The buzzing noise/red-light startles/scares/annoys my wife, so I've had a lot of fun getting in touch with my inner 12 year old. Fortunately, I'm mature enough to know when to stop before she decides to punch me in the face. This whole "older, wiser" thing is really working out for me. Anyhow, these little "pens" (i.e. voltage detectors) test whether a wire, switch, or outlet has juice running to it. It's much safer than licking your fingers and grabbing the black wire (which you absolutely should not do).

In an attempt to cultivate a proper set of social skills and decorum, I decided not to post a "warning" picture of some dumbass who should be candidate for a Darwin Award. Why? He deserves this award for trying to steal copper wiring from a relay station with not so heavy duty wire cutters. When the electricity arced it blew his nuts off (instantly charbroiled really) among other things. Not pretty.

If you're asking why I have a picture of this, Jack (who works for Entergy Arkansas) sent it to me. I guess where some people forward blonde jokes or prayer circles, power company employees have different tastes.

And, for those of you who might be thinking, "Screw this, I'd rather plumb than wire!" you're wrong. Trust me. Sure, if you've very stupid or very unlucky, electricity can kill you. However, you shouldn't suffer long. Plumbing is like hemorrhoids; it's a pain in your ass until something else finished you off. Your suffering is boundless.

Anyhow, whether you're just feeling a little unsure of yourself or you're following behind a real creative POS, it’s nice gizmo to have. Besides, keeping your gonads is worth it.


Anonymous Patricia W. said...

How dumb can people be? I'm so afraid of electricty I shut off almost every breaker in the house just to mess around with replacing one socket, then I test it again with a line tester before I touch anything.

10:20 AM  
Anonymous Bruce said...

Aw, come on... you've got to post the picture now.

12:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, since you asked, my left one's worth $47.50 and the right one is worth $72.30. How I came to those amounts is another story that I won't go in to here. I have a neon tester and I use constantly when doing electricity. I don't think it's as good as those, though, because it has two contacts that you have to use. It's great for shoving in an outlet, but for bare wires it's a little cumbersome. I'm so paranoid about it, that sometimes when I get a reading that says there is no current, I then go and test it in a live outlet to make user the tester isn't broken and giving a false reading. After that I go and test the one I’m working on again.

12:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hope you're right about electricity vs. plumbing because then it will be worth what we'll spend on a plumber.

2:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

C'mon now! I here that people in Arkansas stick quarters in the fuse box when they blow a fuse....

7:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Obviously I don't HEAR well enough. Must be the constant crackling sound coming from my fuse box. Better see if I have a quarter....

8:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We just did some rewiring in our kitchen.
We bought the red tester and we love it.
It is soooo fun to play with too. tee hee


12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A GT-10 polarity cube is always handy too... as if i need a reminder that my knob and tube isn't properly grounded.


6:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aisle 4 at Lowe's (R'ville), about halfway down on the right, for those not in the

5:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aisle four at Lowe's (R'ville), about halfway down on the right, for those not in the

5:49 PM  
Blogger My Marrakech said...

I would say that your know should be worth that much. At least. I am posting on a related matter today, too;-)

10:44 PM  
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