The Devil Queen

How my wife and I sold our souls to the Queen Anne Victorian we tried to save.

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Location: Crow Mountain, Arkansas, United States

Synopsis: This is a cautionary tale. A seriously disturbed couple find the charming, old ruin of a Queen Anne Victorian in Russellville, Arkansas, and buy it for $1.00. They tore the roof off, cut it in half, and had it moved to some land they owned sixteen miles away because they didn't know any better. Since then, they have hired and fired contractors, had all of their tools stolen, re-wired, re-plumbed, insulated, and essentially rebuilt the entire house. Their only problem is that after four years it still isn't finished. Now they are tired, broke, and wonder what in the hell it is they've done to themselves. And, it's haunted.
(Last updated on April 3, 2008)

Press: Russellville Courier Article - December 2003, HGTV website article, AP story - October 2006, and Victorian Homes Magazine - February 2008 (link coming soon).
Art: From time to time, I receive requests for my art. If you would like to look at more of my art, go to The Failed Artist. If you would like to buy my art, email me. I am more than happy to answer any questions you might have. Thanks!

Thursday, September 04, 2008


Thank you Gustav. After three days and nights of rain, this is my driveway last night after work. In case it isn't obvious, this culvert is supposed to be underground. Instead, the rain scoured away the surface, floated the culvert out of its trench, and laid it on the surface of what is left of the drive. I am not happy.

According to the AP wire, we've received just over 7 inches of rain over the last three days and had wind gusts up to 45 miles per hour. Apparently, that is just the right amount of rain to destroy my driveway. Lovely.

More on this to come.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's hoping that The Devil Queen herself didn't sustain any damage....

8:22 AM  
Blogger Lenise said...

Hanna's dealing us a blow. Hopefully nothing that will cause permanent damage, but we're definitely feeling vulnerable with gaping holes in the kitchen walls.

Sorry about your driveway =[ Maybe you could pave it next time?

4:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And yet!
And yet!

Your home, that you bought for a DOLLAR and cut in half and transported across a town to a new location and rebuilt yourself with evil contractors and wing├ęd simians still stands.

This is you: putting the Ark in Arkansas. Noble. Heroic. American. If not American, American-esque.

People look to you and your bisected house, your demi-domicile, and they say to themselves "Gustav took on that fkkr and di'in even make a dent." and then they'll spit, John. They'll spit on the ground and they'll admire the Devil Queen with admiration, because the two go together like peas and carrots.

People may even remove their ten gallon hats from their half-gallon head and hold those ten gallon hats over their hearts in a patriotic gesture of respect, and those people will probably be holding their ten gallon Stetsons over the wrong side of their chest but WHO CARES IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS, and by gar those people had a thought and that's pretty rare so let's take it for what it's worth.

-- Janine

10:39 PM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Yep. What she said.

Coulda been much worse.

7:42 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

Well...don't bother making repairs until Ike does what it is going to do. No point in doing it twice.

We just had Hannah. Not much wind really but A LOT of rain. Our drive is paved so no issues there but the rain played havoc with the landscaping...we have drainage issues (as in, where the water drains issues).

Best of luck with all that...

10:49 AM  
Blogger Green Fairy said...

Sorry to hear about the drive; but glad The Devil Queen is okay (raps knuckles on wood).

6:13 PM  
Blogger Sandy said...

My son was in military and I know what that means! LOL

Glad the Devil Queen and all of you are OK. Sorry about the driveway. Could have been much worse.

7:59 AM  
Blogger John said...

Thanks everyone, quite right. It could always be worse. Ike didn't do anything, and the drive is fixed (for now). So, hopefully, we're good for now.

And Janine, I had to read that a couple of times; it's freaking hysterical. Thanks! I needed it. Keep it up and I'll make you post on this blog for me.

12:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bring the funny, my friend. I Bring The Funny. Listen, when we get into OUR house and I'm up all night carefully painting my walls white and being careful when I'm doing the edging, and when I catch three hours sleep and then get up to see that all my latex efforts were wasted on walls coated by the POs with oil based paint, and all my efforts are bubbling and peeling like an 80-year olds sunburn in Clearwater, Florida.... can save ME with some humour.

-- Janine

1:31 PM  
Blogger Sandy said...

So THAT's what's the matter with the paint I put on the bathroom walls! I wondered why it peeled every time I bumped up against the wall. SIGH!

4:35 PM  

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